Since beginning this gratitude journey I have experienced a lot of positive and uplifting emotions. However, since in my view showing gratitude also means being honest with myself, I do want to note that there is a flip side. Along with what we might call negative emotions, my mind has been occupied with many questions . . .
Doubt: Will I be able to keep going with this practice? What if these initial feelings are just a fluke? Will being grateful actually improve the quality of life for me and those around me, or am I just deluding myself?
Self-consciousness: When I express gratefulness, do people think I am bragging or trying to flaunt some 'perfect life'? Will anyone be angry if I do not show them gratitude soon enough, or in a way they expect? What if I forget someone?
Fear: Could expressing gratefulness in this manner 'tempt fate' and result in losing everything important to me? Will my fledgling gratitude be tested in a way I will not be able to handle? Will I alienate people I care about?
Clearly, most of these questions are quite unfounded. Viewed logically, I know that if someone is unhappy because of timing or the way I express gratitude, then perhaps my thankfulness is misplaced. If anyone is annoyed or alienated by my posts, they don't need to read them. I know that most people's busy lives don't permit much time to dwell on what others think of them. Finally, I can only hope there is no 'evil eye' out to get me, seeking revenge for my acknowledgment of the good things in my life.
Though I would not necessarily describe this adventure as 'brave', I did not expect that discussing what I am grateful for would leave me feeling a little exposed; that it would take courage.
Well, as we all know almost nothing worth doing in life is easy, and if my own change in attitude so far is any indication, I think I am on the right track.
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This post is part of the daily gratitude practice I am working to develop during 2018. You can read all about it here.
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May all beings be happy!
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