Gratitude and Impermanence

If someone is curious about Buddhism, one of the first things they may learn are the Four Noble Truths:

First Noble Truth: There is suffering (dukkha)

Second Noble Truth: Suffering is caused by desire

Third Noble Truth: Suffering can end completely

Fourth Noble Truth: The Noble Eightfold Path is the remedy for suffering

In terms of meaning, that of the First Noble Truth is apparent; we see suffering everyday, in ourselves and others. The Second Noble Truth states that attachment/desire, selfish craving (tanha), and wishing things to be different from how they really are is the cause of all suffering. The Third Noble Truth states that the constant state of suffering we experience can cease through pursuing the Fourth Noble Truth; following the Noble Eightfold Path. 

To avoid an overly pessimistic view of these foundations, let's first clarify the meaning of 'dukkha.' Roughly translated as 'suffering', 'dukkha' in linguistic terms has a complex definition and thus many meanings. For simplicity, I refer to dukkha as the inherent 'unsatisfactoriness' of all things, which manifests as suffering ranging from slight discomfort to extreme misery.

Reflecting further, we may realize the strong connection between impermanence and suffering. In our human experience, we know that all the things we enjoy, cherish, love, or have ever loved do not last forever. Just as our favorite flower fades, so may our connection to an old friend. Homes can burn or be washed away, and loved ones die and leave us with only memories of their presence. We also know the ultimate truth about ourselves, that we too will someday die and take leave of everything we love and have worked so hard for. Whilst interspersed amongst many happy moments, the impermanent (and therefore 'unsatisfactory') nature of all things is as real as life itself, and can be a cause for much sadness. If were are ever to be truly happy, how do we confront this potentially infinite source of suffering?

That's where gratitude comes in. When we are grateful, we acknowledge that wonderful moments -and not-so-wonderful ones - will eventually pass. When we are grateful, we accept impermanence; there is no sense grasping things that we know will not last forever. Rather, we smile and accept all that is good in our lives with open hearts. Although we may always hope for our loved ones' safety and wellbeing, our newfound wisdom may bring our constant fear of losing them out of focus. Instead of letting our resistance to change render life's blessings unfulfilling and trite, practicing gratitude amidst the reality of impermanence makes everything all the more precious. Instead of clutching in fear and trepidation, we may embrace all that we love in the present moment with happiness and contentment.  

Created by Renata viaGIPHY

Delicate blossoms fade, transient in the cool spring air. 

A crisp breeze arises, and we understand the nature of change.

Showered by translucent petals, we smile in the present moment.

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This post is part of the daily gratitude practice I am working to develop during 2018. You can read all about it at ByChanceBuddhism!

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May all beings be happy!

Society at a crossroads

Looking back on a post describing my extensive (often uncomfortable) immersion in the conflicting views and opinions of others, I realized that there is a larger issue worth discussing- the ease by which someone can challenge -even rock- our core beliefs via social media. 

Although sites like facebook engage in extensive data mining and targeted ads to increase the probability you see what you "want to" see, they do not fully insulate us from every post we may disagree with (which really doesn't seem to be their goal anyway). I realize now that, to some, this 'accidental insight' into friends' thoughts and opinions could be upsetting. 

While part of me wants to roll my eyes, I also recognize that something really interesting is happening. This is the first time in history where we as a society can very quickly and easily access a myriad of opinions about every topic imaginable- whether we want to or not. When we compare the current dynamic to our collective past, it is clear that our society is currently at a crossroads.

If you are from "Generation Y" and older, you remember a world before social media. You may recall running into someone you hadn't seen in a while and they let slip who they voted for/what they thought about ______. You then went home to your spouse or S.O. and said, hey I saw so and so today- did you know she voted for _____?! Tsk, honestly . . . (or something like that).

And that was the end of it. No likes, no comments, no shares, no checking back to see what others responded. Sure, you could have argued with your spouse/family about it a little, but in the privacy of your own home, (hopefully!) unobserved. With the exception of those who lived within the public eye, this was the case for everyone.

Fast forward to now, the internet and social media give us access not only to so. much. information, but also an instant, far reaching megaphone. To anyone who feels isolated or that their opinions don't matter, having the ability to finally communicate about important issues can feel really good.

But we also know that this newfound freedom has a flip side, and it can be an ugly one. You know the saying that true character is what you do when no one is watching? Well, now everyone is watching (or can be)- except this time it is anonymous players performing upon a virtual stage. 

Cloaked in this anonymity people can say nasty, vulgar, and hateful things with little or no consequence. A few malicious individuals can launch thousands of 'bots' to intimidate real people with opposing views, or gather information for digital censorship. On a more personal, less sinister level, although we wouldn't necessarily walk up to someone we (would otherwise) consider our friend and say, "I hate your political views, so you are no longer my friend" we can neatly terminate our virtual friendship with a single click. 

I have been thinking about this for a while, especially in regards to people who appear not able to handle opposing views they encounter, particularly on social media. Are they all intellectual dwarfs who need a good verbal smackdown? For some, perhaps the answer is yes, but I refuse to believe that this is the case for everyone. Looking at the big picture, the fact is that as a society this new 'normal' is very different from what we have ever known, and it might take some time to adjust and accept as part of our reality. Stepping out of my own shoes, I also realize most people have also not experienced the intellectual isolation that I (and others like me) have encountered in so many different contexts. That means that I should give others a bit of a break, because I now realize that, unlike me, they might not yet be over the shock.   

Does this excuse immature, cowardly behavior on the internet? Certainly not. Personally, I am tired of it, and I am guilty of sometimes adding fuel to the fire by responding with my own special blend of teasing and sarcasm (don't worry, I recognize my need to review Right Speech just as much as everyone else- see below!). But this is why I am writing this post, because I am passionate about this issue, and I want to be part of the solution, not the problem. I now recognize that it is not necessarily the 'instagram' generation who is at fault, that the fragility we often see is part of a an (understandable) human reaction to being challenged in ways we never have before.

So the question remains, will we reach a point as a society where we can handle this constant exposure to the thoughts and opinions of people with different views? Or will we retreat back into our intellectual 'tribes', banishing anyone with the audacity to challenge us? OR, will we toughen our fragile egos to let go of fear and selfishness and actually listen to someone else's story? Right now we are at an incredible, vulnerable moment in history where our sense of fairness, openness, and forgiveness is on the line. Humanity, let's try not to blow it . . . again.
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I end this post with a timeless statement from the Vaca Sutta about Right Speech, a component of Buddhism's Noble Eightfold Path.

"Monks, a statement endowed with fine factors is well-spoken, not ill-spoken. It is blameless & unfaulted by knowledgeable people. Which five?

It is spoken at the right time. It is spoken in truth. It is spoken affectionately. It is spoken beneficially. It is spoken with a mind of good-will."

Vaca Sutta, A Statement
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May all beings be happy!

Nothing's perfect

As I first embarked on this gratitude journey, I had some doubts about posting my thoughts publicly. Beyond apprehension about feeling exposed, I was cautious about inadvertently portraying my life as some Pollyanna's paradise. 

Since I am a human being, you already know that it is not. Everyone has problems, bad habits, and troublesome emotions. However, if we are truly grateful for what we have, don't have, learn, or experience, it does not make sense to spend our energy qualifying it. 

So yes, I may have been tired all day, but it is important that I allow myself to feel grateful for my husband's helpfulness. I know that our apartment is not the best, most modern, or spacious, but I can still be grateful we have a roof over our heads. I may not have the fittest body, but . . . you get the idea. I express gratitude not because there are no flaws or imperfections, but because being grateful is what matters, and attaching "ifs, ands, or buts" diminishes it.  

From a Buddhist perspective, focusing on gratitude is a step towards a more harmonious life. The 'suffering' defined as dukkha defines the inherent unsatisfactory nature of all things, ultimately defined by their impermanence. Since we already know this, there is no sense in dwelling on it. 

Instead, we can shift our focus towards the sense of contentment that gratitude can bring. If we are grateful, then tanha, or "selfish craving" slowly loses its power over us. Since "craving" or attachment is one of the major obstacles thwarting our happiness, this is a big deal in Buddhist terms.

But you don't need to be a Buddhist to understand or at least appreciate this argument. The benefits of gratitude are already there . . . without anything ever being 'perfect'.  

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This post is part of the daily gratitude practice I am working to develop during 2018. You can read all about it at ByChanceBuddhism!

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May all beings be happy!

'God is watching us'

A short while ago, my husband, daughter, and I were spending time with a dear friend. Ever philosophical, our friend has previously disputed the distinctions made between the myriad of deities that people call 'God' (or Goddess, as the case may be).

In fact, he goes as far as to facetiously call them 'brands'. Given the divisive manner in which many in the 'spiritual' hierarchy with a lot to gain (and a lot to lose) play the 'my god, your god' game, this description resonated with me.

But last time we spoke, he put a more personal spin on the discussion. Looking at our little one sitting in her high chair and smiling as she gummed a Cheerio, he reminded us of the truth that we know so well but don't often consider: no matter where we are or what we are doing, she is always watching us, and learning from the things we do.

Of course children have watched and learned from their parents since time immemorial, and other species do the same. But the our friend's reasoning was based on his rejection of the notion that some omnipresent 'being' is constantly checking up on us, weighing our good actions with the not-so-good. In his view there is really no need for such surveillance, because it is already an integral part of family life. "She will do what you do and say what you say; she is your conscience and a clear, pure reflection of you as a person, not just as a parent. 'God' is watching us through our children's eyes."

Whether someone is agnostic, deeply spiritual, or spiritually ambivalent, I feel this idea is an extremely powerful (and for parents, perhaps universal) reminder to be mindful of our thoughts, words, and behavior.

When watching after yourself, you watch after others. When watching after others, you watch after yourself." ~ The Buddha (Samyutta Nikaya)
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What did you think of this post? Is there a reminder that you use in your daily life to steer yourself towards wholesome conduct? Please share in the comments!

Delight in heedfulness! Guard well your thoughts! ~ The Buddha (Dhammapada) 

May all beings be happy!

Is mindfulness only for those who are single and 'free'?

As a new mom, one of the things that was a bit of a shock was how my 'monkey mind' (while already there) went completely berserk. It swung here, there, and everywhere, thinking of baby, myself, tasks, worries, when is my husband coming home, why is the weather so horrible, etc. Though pretty apt at multitasking, over the past few years I really made an effort to reel that aspect in my personality in. At my job I worked on one thing at a time whenever possible, neatly checking items off my to-do list after several focused time periods working towards my goal. 

Now at home with my baby, the knowledge that she may need my attention at any given moment has caused some major scatter of my focus while doing other things. Though I cringe at the stereotype of the 'frazzled mom' trying to get everything done and taking care of everyone but herself, I feel some of that creeping in.  

All this has made me wonder if mindfulness is a luxurious notion that can really only be achieved by the few who have renounced worldly desires, and is really hopeless for us laypeople. Thinking about the Buddhist leaders who have influenced my practice, most of them are unmarried men who do not have pressing family obligations. Though most are busy people whose time is sought by practitioners around the world, mindfulness and meditation is what they do, so they naturally must engage in the practice to advise others. While of course this is an obligation in and of itself, how can a 'householder' successfully relate to what Sangha leaders describe (and gently encourage laypeople to practice)?

Taking a deep breath and re-reading what I have written above (after starting the laundry, chopping vegetables, and organizing the diaper bag while my daughter naps, of course) the words that jump out at me in this post are 'achieved' and 'practice'. Unlike much of the tasks and ideas we encounter in daily life, mindfulness is not an item to be checked off a to-do list. Rather, it is a mindset and attitude that we use to approach those items that need doing- and that requires a lot of . . . you guessed it - never-ending practice!

Looking back, I realize now that my wistful (and sleep-deprived) thoughts of 'It feels like I will never be mindful again' indicated that I needed a little bit of a refresher to remind myself what mindfulness really is, and that it can be practiced and attempted (however clumsily or imperfectly) by anyone, anywhere. Whatever is going on in your life, all you really need is the present moment.

Do you have any thoughts to share about mindfulness and/or how you or someone you know may have struggled? Feel free to share in the comments below!

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May all beings be happy!   

Buddhism in Uganda

A while back I was curious to see whether there is a Buddhist following in Africa. My search led me to the Uganda Buddhist Centre, located near the capital of Kampala. UBC was founded in 2005 by Ven. Buddharakkhita, a monk who has been ordained in the Theravada Buddhist tradition. Being the first and only Buddhist center in Uganda, there are many reasons why UBC is special, but another is that the nun at the center and Uganda's first Buddhist, Dhammakami, is the mother of Buddharakkhita, ordained by the Venerable himself.

I hope you enjoy listening to the Venerable's life story and spiritual journey. The last video is a slide show recounting Ven. Buddharakkhita's experience as a monk living in a tent and teaching Dharma from a mobile temple, and the series of events that led to the building of the UBC in 2007.

May all beings be happy!

Buddhist FAQs: My views and experiences

Since I have started following the Buddhist Path, people have asked me questions about being Buddhist, and about Buddhists in general. These questions are interesting to me because they seem to reveal a set of expectations/generalizations people have about Buddhists, but often also indicate genuine interest and curiosity. Below I try to list some of the questions I (and others like me) have encountered, and give the best answer I can. Feel free to read my answers to the questions that interest you, and post your thoughts- and additional questions- in the comments below. 

How long do you meditate?

For me, not very long- about 10 minutes. Despite my best efforts, sitting for long periods of time causes pain. However, the good news for me and others who find sitting difficult is that there are many ways to meditate. Meditation can also be done sitting in a chair, lying down, and during activities like walking, cooking, and eating. Personally I enjoy walking meditation, and have benefited from alternating mindful contemplation with mindful walking and awareness during my long strolls. But one of the best answers to this question I have heard was from a monk named Venerable Sik Ji Xing, who, when asked said, "I meditate for 24 hours a day". This means that on and off the cushion, he makes a constant effort to be mindful, every minute of every day. Rather than worrying how long we can sit, I think this is truly a beautiful aspiration.

How often do you meditate?

I do sitting and walking meditation almost every day. As noted above, the key to meditation is being mindful and in the present moment wherever you are and whatever you're doing.

Aren't you vegetarian/vegan?

Nope. But my simple answer belies my complex thoughts on the matter. Looking for guidance in the Five Moral Precepts, Buddhists know that the very first one is clearly stated as "Refrain from killing."

But what is not clear is the prevailing view of the Buddhist community. For example, most Buddhist sects have no problem with laypeople eating meat. The kitchen of the Dalai Lama's residence at Dharmasala, India is vegetarian, but while abroad the Dalai Lama XIV has been known to eat meat. The Buddha himself was not a vegetarian, and when challenged to make all monks vegetarian, the Buddha refused. This I believe has a strong connection to the fact that all Bhikkus (Pali for monks) were to beg for alms each day, and therefore must accept the food given to them, whatever the source (indeed, the root meaning for the word Bhikku is 'to beg'). The main instruction the Buddha gave was to laypeople, that under no circumstances is an animal to be slaughtered for the benefit of a monk. This is likely linked to the Buddha's banning of animal sacrifice, a common practice in the Hindu community during his time.

How does all this relate to me? Well, for the most part, I eat a plant-based diet, but not exclusively. I feel the desire to eat meat less and less, and think this trend will continue. However, my goal is that even if I were to willingly stop eating meat, I would also not want to develop aversion towards it, so that I could still be grateful and gracious guest if someone were to serve me a meat-based meal.

Do you consume alcohol?

Yes, if you're talking about wine. As a family doctor once told my mother- "Wine is food!". The fifth of the Five Moral Precepts advises that one should refrain from the consumption of intoxicants that cause heedlessness. In my view, wine and beer can be consumed in moderation when enjoyed with other foods, without being a dire threat to mindfulness. However, I do believe that it is more difficult to consume 'hard' liquors in moderation, and almost impossible to do so for psychoactive drugs. I have never taken the latter type of intoxicants, but instinctively feel they would annihilate mindfulness.

Of course, please keep in mind that as far as my opinion about drinking wine and (small amounts of) spirits are concerned, other Buddhists may adamantly disagree with me. Alcohol is also off-limits to those on retreat and pursuing a monastic lifestyle, so please be aware that my thoughts about consuming alcohol relate to myself only. 

You think everything is suffering, right? How is that working out for you?

Well geez, if you put it that way . . . ! Actually, it's working out just fine, because it seems that many who are unfamiliar with Buddhism are put off by the First Noble Truth due to a misunderstanding of the Buddhist definition of suffering.

Yes, there is suffering, but the Pali word dukkha that we translate as 'suffering' actually has a much more complex meaning. Dukkha encompasses all suffering, from minor discomfort to extreme misery. It also refers to the unsatisfactoriness of all things, which directly relates to impermanence. But the beauty of the Four Noble Truths is that they read like the directions from a good doctor. There is a problem (dukkha, or suffering/unsatisfactoriness), there is a cause (tanha, or selfish craving), there is a cure, and that cure is following the Noble Eightfold Path. Suddenly- and thankfully- that suffering doesn't sound so bad. That is because not only is there a cure, but although it's not easy, realizing that cure is entirely within our control.   

Buddhists don't believe in God, right?

Those who have some background in Buddhism may have learned that the Buddha was not a god (although he may be worshipped as such in different traditions), but he was a human being as mortal as you and me. The difference is that Siddartha Guatama, a prince afflicted with worldly desires, overcame all suffering by becoming enlightened as a Buddha, who came to know the true nature of all things. His teachings are profound and universal, yet do not depend upon an omnipotent deity.

However, many misinterpret this as all Buddhists being atheists. While some are, Buddhism itself is most correctly described as non-theist. That means that to believe what Buddhists believe, and to live a pious life, a deity or god is not required- but is also not explicitly prohibited.

What do I think? Well, since starting on the Buddhist path, I grew to no longer see 'god' as some mysterious entity watching over us, consumed with the minutia of our daily 'virtue' and 'sin'. Instead I view God as a profound force of goodness and peace that is all around us. I often feel this great force when I walk within Nature. However, in making these statements, I am aware that people may agree or disagree.

What do you think happens, you know, after we die?
Frankly, I think it is fair to say that I simply don't know, and that I doubt that there are many out there who do. But I guess that if I can't say what people know, then I can summarize what I have read on the subject- at least as I understand it.

In the Abrahamic traditions, there is the concept of the everlasting soul. It goes on forever, unchanging, through one single lifespan and continuing long after the body's death. In Hinduism, there is also a concept of an unchanging, everlasting soul. This is known as Atman, or the realization of one's true self, which can span the duration of many earthly lives. In contrast, while Buddhists also believe their 'souls' are capable of inhabiting many different forms over vast expanses of time, they maintain that this 'soul' (often referred to consciousness or 'mindstream' in Buddhist terms) is constantly changing. Though they share the fundamental view that realization of the true nature of all things (including this 'thing' called 'self') leads to Nirvana, this ever-changing mindstream is one philosophical difference between Buddhism and Hinduism. In addition, through the Bardo Thodol (Tibetan book of the dead) Tibetan Buddhism has contributed extensively to possible explanations of what happens to our consciousness between death and the next rebirth.

However, though these different ideas are extremely interesting, I believe that if asked, I would not like to engage in a debate about this topic, simply because I do not (and may never) understand the truth. As far as I'm concerned, the important thing is how we use our current life to become a better person and benefit others.

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I hope you enjoyed this post. Are these questions you have come across as a Buddhist, or as a member of another faith/worldview? Do you have any questions to add? As always, I would love to hear your thoughts.

May all beings be happy!

Trying too hard

Since discovering Buddhism as a way of life in 2007, I have seen some interesting things happen to people, including myself. For example, when I first started along the Buddhist path, I was very, well . . . let's just say I was enthusiastic. 

What I mean by that is once I was comfortable with fundamental Buddhist ideas, I really dove in. I read books, went to retreats, meetings, and events focused on Buddhism; I meditated and walked mindfully. Most of all, I had compassion for ALL living beings. No matter what, I strove to be compassionate and wise in all my actions . . .

I think you can see where this is going.

Then one evening I was walking home, a to-go vegetarian meal from Panera in my hand (a rare treat for me at the time). Out of nowhere, a homeless man came up to me asking for a dollar. Me, in my ever-noble "Buddhist" mode, handed him the dinner I had so been looking forward to. At first taken aback, the man thanked me, but proceeded to ask yet again for a dollar! Now it was my turn to be speechless. "But . . . but, I have just given you my dinner," I stammered. "Sorry, I don't have a dollar for you." (That was true- I had just spent my last bit of cash on the meal I had given him!). 

As you can imagine, I went home more than a little miffed. There I was, a grad student living paycheck to paycheck, "compassionately" giving my dinner to someone with the nerve to only ask for more! What the #*$@? 

Then I realized my mistake. For all my good intentions, I was trying too hard- and expecting too much. But I couldn't say that I didn't know better. Buddhism advocates that we should all work diligently to improve our attitudes and habits- However, we must also acknowledge that these changes take time. Although by nature we are all Buddhas-to-be, instantaneous revelation of our Buddha-nature (especially through self-righteous actions) is unlikely. Reflecting on that encounter with that (grateful, but) persistent homeless man, I was forced to revisit that fact. 

From that evening onwards, I started to let go a little bit. I let myself make mistakes, to be apathetic and impatient, to get angry. But, in contrast to before I had set along the Buddhist path, each time I engaged these negative emotions I learned from being aware of the harm they can do. Being more mindful of the consequences of my thoughts and actions has been a practical approach that I believe has helped me become a better person.

Since then, I have seen this type of experience happen to others. With the best of intentions, people (but especially it seems, new Buddhists) try so hard to be compassionate to all beings, wise in all their actions, striving towards enlightenment (and more often than not, humbly broadcasting their compassionate thoughts on social media!). As one can imagine, all this puts enormous pressure on any individual who is making their way along the Buddhist path- or any other path for that matter. 

Based on my my observations, there are generally two outcomes to this behavior. Some people eventually realize that their efforts are not sustainable and step back towards the Middle Way, while others buckle under the pressure and have a complete meltdown. Obviously, I think most of us would prefer the former. 

It is important to remember that as human beings most of us are struggling to find meaning, purpose, and peace in our lives. As we stumble along, it is painfully apparent how many wrong views and negative emotions we have. Overwhelmed, we may be tempted to go into fanatic overdrive to somehow make up for our unskillful actions. 

But we have to face the truth: Years -perhaps lifetimes- of bad habits are not going to disappear today. This type of change requires more than attending Buddhist retreats, switching to a vegetarian diet, and sitting in lotus position. It requires time, a lot of self-awareness, and most of all, hard work. As we slowly become more honest with ourselves, our thought patterns and actions will eventually be less driven by ego, or the the delusion that we have found some quick fix for years of carelessness. 

In truth, this is much more easier said than done. As I travel the Buddhist path, I for one am only making very small steps in what I believe is the right direction. But through it all, I am grateful for having found the Middle Way as a practical, balanced, and straightforward guide for my intentions, behavior, and life. 

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What did you think about this post? Have you witnessed others trying too hard to improve, or done this yourself? Do you think the Middle Way is the antidote to overzealousness?  

May all beings be happy!   

Letting go of dread, letting go of suffering

After several stressful weeks at work, this weekend I was finally able to kick back and relax for a bit- at least in theory. However, instead of thoroughly enjoying my time, I was (like millions of other people) bothered by a nagging sense of dread about going back to work on Monday. Of course, this put a little bit of a damper on my enjoyment of this much-anticipated down time. 

Last night it finally clicked: There I was, relaxing and spending time with my husband when the dread came over me again. Instead of giving in, I stopped for a moment and thought about the feeling. Sure, I had experienced a stressful few weeks, where weekends were just days crammed with more work. I acknowledged that it may actually take some time to 'come down' from the frantic pace and the pressure I had been under. 

But most of all, I realized what was happening was the flip side of what I usually do, the behavior I am aware of; and that is avoiding unpleasantness. From a Buddhist perspective, this can be called aversion. When viewed in the context of the Second Noble Truth, that suffering is caused by tanha, or selfish craving, it is clear that aversion is just a way that we express tanha by avoiding how things really are because of our own self-centered view of how they should be. Thus, we suffer.  

However, this time my dread was not motivated by aversion, but rather attachment, which is really another facet of tanha. When we experience something pleasurable, we hold on to it in our mind, grasping at the pleasure and fun because we never want it to end. But we know it will, and as we are reminded of this fact, we suffer. 

It is not that I have never done this, or that I no longer am prone to attachment (far from it!), but that in many ways I (thought I) had become better at enjoying myself in the moment because I had also become more accepting of the impermanent nature of all things, especially the good ones. Yet there I was this weekend, suffering as I grasped at joyous moments- and suffering in the moments between! 

My conclusion? I can only guess that this attitude is a product of stress, and that I need to find a way to deal with it. Moreover, I also suspect that my heightened feelings of attachment are directly (perhaps even proportionally) related to the strong aversion I felt towards that stress, indicating that as far as tanha goes, attachment and aversion seem inseparably - and profoundly- linked.  

What can you say about your experience with aversion and attachment? Do you agree they are linked in the way I described? Any advice? 

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May all beings be happy! 

The Parable of the Lute

One of the most important impacts Buddhism has had on my life is fully introducing me to the concept of the Middle way.

A beautiful way this core Buddhist principle is explained is through the Parable of the Lute. Although there is one major lesson to be learned from this Buddhist parable, there are several widely known versions of this story. 

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The first focuses on the experiences of Sona, who was a monk meditating alone in the forest during the time of the Buddha. Although he meditated diligently, he was frustrated by his lack of spiritual progress. He went to the Buddha to ask him why he was not being successful in his practice.

The Buddha answered, "Tell me Sona, in earlier days, were you not skilled in playing the stringed music of the lute?"

"Yes Lord" replied Sona.

"And, tell me, Sona, when the strings on the lute were too taut, was then your lute tuneful and easily playable?"

"Certainly not, O Lord."

"And when the strings on the lute were too loose, was then your lute tuneful and easily playable?"

"Certainly not, O Lord."

"But when, Sona, the strings of your lute were neither too taut nor too loose, and adjusted to an even pitch, did your lute then have a wonderful sound, and then was it easily playable?"

"Certainly, O Lord."

"Similarly Sona, if energy is applied too strongly, it will lead to restlessness, and if energy is too lax, it will lead to lassitude. Therefore Sona, keep your energy in balance and balance the Spiritual Faculties and in this way focus your attention."

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The previous discourse is from the Anguttara Nikaya, which literally means "increased by one collection". It is the fourth of the five nikayas (collections) in the Sutta Pitaka, which is part of the Pali Tipitaka of Theravada Buddhism. I found this version of the Parable of the Lute on a personal website citing Jack Kornfield's The Teachings of the Buddha, and from a Google Book, Buddhist Wisdom, The Path to Enlightenment. The terms and context pertaining to the Anguttara Nikaya can be found on Wikipedia.

Finally, here is a neat cartoon video clip depicting the exchange between Sona and the Buddha. I believe that it is done quite well, and would be perfect to show to teens and pre-teens. The video ends with commentary about following the Middle Way from the young people narrating the animation.

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In other versions of this parable, realization of The Middle Way through the proper tuning of a lute was made by Siddhartha Gautama (who later became the Buddha) himself. 

From what I have read so far, the following version has two variations: 

One day Siddhartha was meditating near a river bank. He was near starvation, his face sunken, his hair matted. He heard a fisherman teaching a young boy the proper way to tune a lute, a kind of stringed instrument. The fisherman said, "Listen, when the strings of the lute are too loose, the lute does not produce any sound, but when you tune it too tight, the strings snap. Only when the strings are tuned just right the lute can make music." (a similar variation describes the conversation between young girls learning to play the lute). 

Siddhartha, who had at that point spent several years depriving his body in his quest for enlightenment, had a revelation; One can achieve wisdom neither by a life of merriment nor of mortification, but only by a life lived in moderation- The Middle Way. This realization had very important implications for Siddhartha; his change in course would eventually lead him to enlightenment and to develop the foundations of Buddhism- the Four Noble Truths and the Noble Eightfold Path.

Indeed, Siddhartha's realization, and his teaching of this revelation to others, has had a huge impact on the history of the world. Providing a major guiding principle for millions of practicing Buddhists (and perhaps many others), his teaching helps us strive to guard ourselves against extremes that lead to ignorance, anger, and attachment.

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Does this parable resonate with you? What is your favorite version? Do you know of another version that you would like to share? How did learning about the Middle Way change your life?

May all beings be happy!  

In September

Next month I am celebrating a very significant personal milestone: the five-year anniversary of my journey on the Buddhist Path. During this celebration I would like to revisit the original purpose of ByChanceBuddhism, which is to help and welcome others who are new to the Buddhist way of life.

My goal for September is to write as many posts as I can that discuss the Basics (and not so-basics) of Buddhism. Similar to posts where I outline fundamental concepts such as the Four Noble Truths and the Noble Eightfold Path, I plan to write a number of 'list' posts that describe other core Buddhist concepts and ideas.

Please keep in mind that due to my preparation for this project, my posts in August may not be as frequent (although I do have a few special posts planned ;). As always, I look forward to writing these future posts, and interacting with you as we discuss them.  

Although I have a good idea of ideas and concepts I would like to cover, I also would like to know what you are interested in knowing more about. After all, this celebration is not all about me- so I would be delighted if you would also share in its joy! Please post your suggestions/questions in the comments below, and I will do my best to follow up.

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May all beings be happy!

May all beings be happy!

I have recently been receiving some positive feedback for the way I end my posts, which is with the words:

"May all beings be happy!"

I have chosen to close each post with this because the truth is, we all want to be happy. Given this basic commonality, I believe that "May all beings be happy" brings us together as fellow sentient beings, whatever path we choose.

A little while ago my mother-in-law also commented on how much she liked my sign-off phrase. She then told me the Sanskrit translation, which is (in Roman script, of course):

"Samstha Loka Sukhino Bhavanthu!" 

I was very happy to learn these uplifting words in this beautiful ancient Indian language. As with many of the new things I have encountered lately, this is yet another precious lesson in my lifetime of learning with my wonderful husband and his family. 

Thanks so much, all of you, for your kind and positive comments. I hope you have enjoyed this post! 

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May all beings be happy! 

I've come a long way

In my last post I discussed my decision to pursue the goals I have in life by enjoying them for their own merit, letting go of the idea of 'self-improvement.' This means that, for now, I want to do things because they make me happy, not because my life is some kind of pet project. 

A few years ago, I was an aggressive and very impatient person. Needless to say, these emotions caused me a lot of unnecessary stress and anxiety. My troubles were compounded by the fact that I didn't have a constructive way of dealing with them. 

Enter my 'discovery' of Buddhism. If such a thing were to exist, it was like being hit (hard) with an enlightenment stick! Suddenly the ideas I had believed all my life (yet had not quite connected) were right there in front of me. Intellectual appreciation gave way to effort, effort to practice, and practice to a way of life. My realizations and initial zeal were also tempered by the indispensable Buddhist concept of rejecting extremes and following the Middle Way. 

Slowly and steadily, my attitudes towards other people and the world around me changed. Don't get me wrong, I still get angry and act unskillfully. But I in the past few years I have grown more calm, patient, and understanding. I regularly engage in activities that require self-discipline, like meditation, mindful eating, and practicing yoga. I also try (and sometimes succeed) in making an effort to practice Metta, or loving-kindness, towards all beings. I take part in these activities because I feel it is the right thing to do.

I realize now that this type of action is very different from the 'self-improvement' I had always pursued. Although (usually) unintentional, my efforts at 'improvement' had been outwardly motivated, to seek approval from others. It took me a long time to discover this pattern, not to mention how draining and demoralizing it can be. Now that I know, I am ready to let it go. It is time to focus on effort that is not only beneficial, but filled with freedom and joy.

In making this decision to change my motivation, I believe I have come a long way!  

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In our lives, we are all on our own great journey. How do you feel that you have you come a long way in your life? What does the term 'self improvement' mean to you? As always, please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments.

May all beings be happy!

I've finally freed myself

It seems like ever since I can remember I have been working to improve myself. Lose weight, tone down, eat better, work harder, get better grades, be more confident. During this journey of 'self-improvement', I went from being a gung-ho, crash-and-burn type to someone who gradually works towards personal change. As you can imagine, the second method has brought me the most success. 

Yet recently I have felt very frustrated. Although I may have accomplished a lot in the past few years, I still have many more goals- perhaps more than I have had at any time in my life. But I don't seem to be getting anywhere with any of them. 

Thinking of posts I've read from success gurus like Leo Babauta, I decided to make one last-ditch effort. Leo is at the forefront of advocating bite-sized change for big-time goals, from losing weight to becoming a great athlete. Baby steps are key.

With this in mind, I planned to take the smallest step I could. I made a date with myself to work on my own self-improvement, for just one minute each day. I could choose to do anything I wanted, and stay at one minute until I was comfortable to move on to two minutes, then three, then four . . . all the way up to an hour of working on self-improvement each day. What a great idea! (Right?)    

Well, even though I do actually think this was a pretty decent plan, I had not anticipated the massive resistance I would put up against it. After procrastinating for several hours, I finally was ready to do my 'one minute'. However, instead of the one minute of pushups I had planned, I just sat there and rested for one minute. Then two. Then three. 

Feeling defeated and angry at myself, I decided to go for a long walk to calm down. As I was walking, I kept wondering what the hell was wrong with me. Couldn't I just work on improving myself for ONE MINUTE?! How lazy am I, really?! 

After some time I calmed down and thought more rationally about my behavior. Okay, I had obviously been resistant to that one little minute of change because I simply didn't want to do it. Fine.

But it was the answer to my next question, Why didn't I want to do it?, that really hit me. 

"Because I've had enough!" my mind blurted out. Surprised, I realized in that moment that I don't need to do this to myself anymore. The idea of 'self-improvement' is all well and good, but the way I was going about it was sucking the joy out of my life. All the goals I have, everything I love and want to do in life, I had demoted to mere drudgery. 

And, turning inward, I realized something more. My slavish effort in 'self-improvement' was implying (and constantly re-enforcing) that there is something fundamentally wrong with me, that I somehow need to 'fix'. I know now that this is simply not true. I don't need any more 'improvement'.

Does this mean I think I am perfect? Absolutely not. But I think it is time for me to become comfortable with my own imperfection. Following a Buddhist way of life has helped me establish and strengthen a code of conduct not based on faith alone. Instead, the guidelines set by the Buddha in the Four Noble Truths, the Noble Eightfold Path, and Five Moral Precepts have resonated with me as fundamental laws of the universe. In my effort to be in balance with them, these guidelines have helped set a distinct framework for my behavior, and shifted the emphasis of what I feel is important in life. 

Keeping this framework close to my heart, I think the time has come that I just need to do what makes me happy. It is in this way I will work towards my goals, joyfully, without self-reproach and judgement. 

I am finally free.

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I feel like a butterfly, spreading my wings in freedom!

May all beings be happy (even me)! :)

As always, I welcome your comments. With love and Metta, Renata

Memorial Day 2012

It is indeed a beautiful Memorial Day here on the east coast, as people gather for family picnics, barbecues, and patriotic parades. But for some this day has a shadow cast over it, as they remember the loss of someone very dear to them. Someone who died defending our country, and defending the rights and privileges that we as Americans (and indeed human beings) hold dear- and often take for granted. 

So please spend a few moments today remembering those selfless enough to subject themselves to the harshness and peril of war, so that we could live our daily lives in peace.   

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I recently came across a great blog called the Buddhist Military Sangha, which I think does a great service in revealing a sector of society that would otherwise be completely unknown and overlooked- Buddhists in the US military! The author of the blog, Shaku Yuinen, is also an ordained Buddhist priest, and serves as a chaplain in the US Navy. Among her interesting posts is an article about Thomas Dyer, who went from being a Southern Baptist pastor to the first Buddhist chaplain in the US Army! This post recounts Dyer's journey, from his discovery of Buddhism in 2003 through his 2010 Iraq deployment. He discusses his experience as a chaplain there, and his transformation from being viewed as an anomaly to a valued asset. For a very interesting read about Thomas Dyer's journey please click through to Shaku Yuinen's article here. 

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I hope you enjoyed this post- please share your thoughts in the comments below. And have a great (and reverent) Memorial Day! 

May all beings be happy!  

Happy Vesak!

For many in south Asia, today is one of the days celebrated as Vesak, a prominent holiday in the Buddhist festival calender. Vesak (or Wesak) commemorates three events, the Birth, Enlightenment (nirvana) and Passing Away (Parinivana) of the Buddha. Also known as "Buddha's Birthday", Vesak is named for the Pali and/or Sanskrit word for the fourth month in the lunar calendar. Because this festival is based on the occurrence of the full moon, the date of Vesak changes from year to year, but is usually held in April or May. For at full list of Vesak days since 2001, a useful chart has been posted within the Wikipedia article about Vesak. In 2012, Vesak is celebrated on May 5th in Sri Lanka, May 6th in India, and June 4th in Thailand. Taiwan and Hong Kong (China) have already celebrated Vesak, which was on April 28th, 2012. 

Common activities during Vesak include community service, meditation on the Noble Eightfold Path, making offerings of incense and alms, and paying homage to the Buddha. In many places, people also listen as monks chant sutras and give dharma talks. Various Vesak traditions have also arisen between different countries and regions, with a rich cultural diversity resulting from this joyous celebration. In Japan and South Korea, scented water or tea is poured over a statue of the baby Buddha, as a symbol of purification and reaffirming one's resolve in living a noble and pure life. In Indonesia, festivities during Vesak include lighting paper lanterns and letting them float up into the night sky. For a great slideshow featuring various festivities during Vesak, please click here. The slideshow is from the Huffington Post, and shows some beautiful images of this year's Vesak and Vesaks past in Singapore, Taiwan, and Sri Lanka, with a special focus on Indonesia and South Korea. I hope you enjoy the images as much as I did.    

So Happy Vesak, Everyone! May the joys and wisdom of the Dharma be renewed in you as you travel along the Path!

*****

May all beings be happy!

Update: I was recently informed by a kind reader that a dear Venerable I have met in the past, Ven. Sik Ji Xing, led the chanting and blessings at a Vesak celebration in Kuantan, Malaysia. Please read about it in this article from The Star Online.

One of my favorite Buddha stories

The following story about the Buddha is so short, it could almost be categorized as a quotation. But it is one of my favorite stories, and so I wanted to share it with you. Enjoy!

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Soon after the Buddha's enlightenment, a young Brahman traveling down the road came upon the Buddha. Impressed by his radiance and peaceful presence, the young man stopped and spoke to the Buddha. 

He asked the Buddha, "Are you a god?"

"No", answered the Buddha.

"Are you a saint?"

"No", Buddha replied.

"Then are you a teacher?" the Brahman persisted.

"No,  I am not a teacher."

"Then what are you?!" asked the young Brahman, exasperated. 

"I am awake", Buddha replied. 

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I hope you enjoyed that. There are several versions of this story, this one is abbreviated and uses English words. The original story is from the Dona Sutta, which can be found here.

Early into my studies of Buddhism, I was surprised to learn that 'Buddha' is not a name, but a title. It is derived from the Sanskrit root Budh, to 'know' or 'wake', and means 'one who is awake'. For more information about the derivation of Budh, and other Sanskrit root verbs and grammar, please click here.  

May all beings be happy!

Kindness and compassion: favorite quotations

Having recently written about compassion and how it is linked to our great human potential, I wanted to share some of my favorite quotes about kindness and compassion. I hope you enjoy this collection, please feel free to post some of your favorite quotations in the comments. I very much look forward to reading them!

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"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle." ~ Plato

"Our task must be to free ourselves . . . by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty." ~ Albert Einstein 

"As you grow older you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others" ~ Audrey Hepburn 

"Until he extends the circle of his compassion to all living things, man will not himself find peace." ~ Albert Schweitzer

"No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted." ~ Aesop

"No one has ever become poor by giving." ~ Ann Frank, from Diary of Ann Frank

"If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion." ~ Dalai Lama XIV

"One man practicing kindness in the wilderness is worth all the temples this world pulls." ~ Jack Kerouac, The Dharma Bums

"Kindness is the language that the deaf can hear and the blind can see." ~ Mark Twain

"Only the development of compassion and understanding of others can bring of the tranquility and happiness we all seek." ~ Dalai Lama XIV

"Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love." ~ Lao Tzu

"Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive." ~ Dalai Lama XIV

"Compassion is the basis of morality." ~ Arthur Schopenhauer

"I have just three things to teach, simplicity, patience, compassion. These three are your greatest treasures." ~ Lao Tzu

"Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for kindness." ~ Seneca

*****

May all beings be happy!

Compassion: unlocking our great human potential

In recent years, I have realized that a common thread of most religions is the belief that each human being possesses an infinite amount of potential. 

Of course, that's where this short thread ends, as people from different backgrounds explain the reasons for this potential and how it should be used. For example, Buddhists take this common belief even further and propose that all sentient beings possess an infinite amount of positive potential. 

But for the sake of simplicity, for now let's stick to humans. I have often wondered, "If it is the case that all people have an infinite amount of potential, what is preventing us from realizing it?" To approach this question, I recently came up with this simple, hypothetical example: 

Let's say a Buddhist layperson is 'practicing well'. They understand the Four Noble Truths, adhere strictly to the Five Moral Precepts, meditate everyday, and earnestly practice compassion towards other sentient beings. But for some reason, they still feel hopelessly stuck. What could be wrong?

Looking deeply, it seems to me that the answer is in the phrase 'other sentient beings'. It seems that in order to truly love and have compassion for others, we must also have love and compassion for ourselves. At face value, this might seem selfish, but just think, would we promise to help someone prepare for an important biology exam if we didn't know the subject? Probably not. 

To give compassion we must know compassion. Knowing compassion is giving it to ourselves, because only then can we be certain of our ability to generate compassion unconditionally. Once we master our self-doubt with self-acceptance, we can be confident in showing unconditional love and compassion towards others. 

Of course, I have found that this is easier said than done. I may not want to criticize or belittle myself, but it happens, sometimes a lot. Despite the natural, brilliant luminosity of our minds, most minds are obscured by many layers of delusion and bad habits. It's a process, and the correct response is being a little more gentle with ourselves. 

One thing I have begun to realize that while it is natural to have emotions, we are not our feelings. Nor are we our reputation, likes, dislikes, occupation, or family history. We are something entirely different, and actually, much, much more precious. Only when we realize this (and behave accordingly towards ourselves), can we be truly compassionate towards others. Certainly though, there is also much merit in committing to not harming others (or ourselves) while we strive everyday to develop and practice compassion.

Once we have these ideas and intentions in mind, we can begin to ask questions like, 'Who am I?' and 'What is my true nature?' For this, I found a great article that walks people interested in beginning the journey of self-acceptance through 10 steps, completing one each day. Finally, I also appreciated this article, that explains self-love and how compassion blossoms from it. There is also a section on Metta, or 'loving-kindness' meditation, which we can do towards others and ourselves. 

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I hope you enjoyed this post, and that it has benefitted you in some way. Disclaimer: I am neither a spiritual guide nor a mental-health professional. I myself have not mastered self-compassion, but have only compiled and written about what I have learned, leading from the great universal belief that human beings possess infinite positive potential. Please post any thoughts you have in the comments below.

May all beings be happy!  

Ten negative actions and the Four Antidotes

According to the Buddha, there are three outlets through which our actions manifest themselves- our bodies, our speech, and our thoughts.  

Three of these negative actions are carried out by the body:

killing

stealing

sexual misconduct

Four are driven by our speech:

lying

harsh speech

divisive speech

gossip

Three are perpetrated by our minds:

harmful intent

covetousness

perverse views (i.e. insisting on seeing things opposite from how they really are and denying that actions have consequences) 

Considering each of these honestly, many of us may have committed at least a few of these negative actions within our current lifetime. In some cases recalling past negative actions may make us feel sad, regretful, or even ashamed. 

The good news is that just as the Noble Eightfold Path was the medicine prescribed by Buddha's Four Noble Truths to end the suffering of all beings, the Four Antidotes are used to remedy the adverse karmic effects of the ten negative actions.

They are:
Power of Regret
Power of Purification
Power of Resolve
Supreme Power of Meditation

In short, these mean that in addition to refraining from the ten negative actions, we exhibit true remorse, purify ourselves, and resolve to not repeat the negative action. Using the Supreme Power of Meditation, we cultivate our efforts to understand the true nature of things, including ourselves.

For more information about the benefits of meditation and how to begin, please read this great article.

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Have you heard these terms before? What do they mean to you? Do you have anything to add?

May all beings be happy!