Saturday, March 29, 2014

10 things that surprised me most about Buddhism

After first encountering basic Buddhist concepts and then learning more and more about them, I often found myself surprised, even awed, by what I learned. I don't know if it the Western 'pop-culture' view or my own Judeo-Christian background were the sources of my initial views of Buddhism, but the more I learned, the more I realized how much my initial impressions of Buddhist ideology differed greatly from the actual teachings and culture. I also remember some of my fellow Buddhists (who grew up in Southeast Asia, and had been born into a Buddhist culture) being surprised when they learned that I did not initially know some of these things about Buddhism (especially numbers 9 and 10), but were understanding about my lack of knowledge once I told them where I was coming from.

Here is my 'top ten' list of the things that surprised me most about Buddhism, from the mundane (and perhaps even silly) to the profound:

1. Many Buddhists are not vegetarians.
2. To be Buddhist, one doesn't have to renounce all one's material belongings (or shave your head!).
3. Buddhists are not necessarily pacifists.
4. Many Buddhists do not meditate regularly- in lotus position no less!
6. Buddhism has a tradition, even a foundation, of questioning and challenging beliefs.
7. Buddhism and science can harmoniously coexist.
8. Buddhism is not possessive, anyone can incorporate Buddhist principles into their life without 'becoming' Buddhist. 
9. Buddha was not a god, but a mortal human being who suffered as we do. The difference was that he found the way to end this suffering.
10. Buddhism is 'equal opportunity'. Every being in the universe has Buddha-nature, or the potential to become a Buddha. 

If you are a 'new' Buddhist like me, were you surprised by any of these characteristics of Buddhism? Do you have any to add? I would love to hear your thoughts!

*****
May all beings be happy!

Friday, March 28, 2014

In need of renewal

Maybe it's the fact that I am tired, stressed, that I have a sinus infection, or that I have been really worried about a loved one recently- but I feel old.

In years, I know I'm not, but my body, my mind, my soul all just feel really, really tired.

But I am over denying this feeling and trying to push through it. I decided today that I need to go on a journey of renewal, and to be gentle but firm in my resolution to return to my stronger, more vital self.

I have become more adjusted to the fact that life is hard- and that it isn't going to get any easier. But I also know that just because life is hard does not mean that it has to be filled with sorrow and dread. 

Regardless, I need my faith and loved ones more than ever, and hope that I can spend more of my waking hours in mindfulness, grateful for the opportunities I have been given.

I also wish that others will find the peace that I wish for myself.

*****
May all beings be happy!

Saturday, November 2, 2013

Buddhist FAQs: My views and experiences

Since I have started following the Buddhist Path, people have asked me questions about being Buddhist, and about Buddhists in general. These questions are interesting to me because they seem to reveal a set of expectations/generalizations people have about Buddhists, but often also indicate genuine interest and curiosity. Below I try to list some of the questions I (and others like me) have encountered, and give the best answer I can. Feel free to read my answers to the questions that interest you, and post your thoughts- and additional questions- in the comments below. 

How long do you meditate?
For me, not very long- about 10 minutes. Despite my best efforts, sitting for long periods of time causes pain. However, the good news for me and others who find sitting difficult is that there are many ways to meditate. Meditation can also be done sitting in a chair, lying down, and during activities like walking, cooking, and eating. Personally I enjoy walking meditation, and have benefited from alternating mindful contemplation with mindful walking and awareness during my long strolls. But one of the best answers to this question I have heard was from a monk named Venerable Sik Ji Xing, who, when asked said, "I meditate for 24 hours a day". This means that on and off the cushion, he makes a constant effort to be mindful, every minute of every day. Rather than worrying how long we can sit, I think this is truly a beautiful aspiration.

How often do you meditate?
I do sitting and walking meditation almost every day. As noted above, the key to meditation is being mindful and in the present moment wherever you are and whatever you're doing.

Aren't you vegetarian/vegan?
Nope. But my simple answer belies my complex thoughts on the matter. Looking for guidance in the Five Moral Precepts, Buddhists know that the very first one is clearly stated as "Refrain from killing."

But what is not clear is the prevailing view of the Buddhist community. For example, most Buddhist sects have no problem with laypeople eating meat. The kitchen of the Dalai Lama's residence at Dharmasala, India is vegetarian, but while abroad the Dalai Lama XIV has been known to eat meat. The Buddha himself was not a vegetarian, and when challenged to make all monks vegetarian, the Buddha refused. This I believe has a strong connection to the fact that all Bhikkus (Pali for monks) were to beg for alms each day, and therefore must accept the food given to them, whatever the source (indeed, the root meaning for the word Bhikku is 'to beg'). The main instruction the Buddha gave was to laypeople, that under no circumstances is an animal to be slaughtered for the benefit of a monk. This is likely linked to the Buddha's banning of animal sacrifice, a common practice in the Hindu community during his time.

How does all this relate to me? Well, for the most part, I eat a plant-based diet, but not exclusively. I feel the desire to eat meat less and less, and think this trend will continue. However, my goal is that even if I were to willingly stop eating meat, I would also not want to develop aversion towards it, so that I could still be grateful and gracious guest if someone were to serve me a meat-based meal.

Do you consume alcohol?
Yes, if you're talking about wine. As a family doctor once told my mother- "Wine is food!". The fifth of the Five Moral Precepts advises that one should refrain from the consumption of intoxicants that cause heedlessness. In my view, wine and beer can be consumed in moderation when enjoyed with other foods, without being a dire threat to mindfulness. However, I do believe that it is more difficult to consume 'hard' liquors in moderation, and almost impossible to do so for psychoactive drugs. I have never taken the latter type of intoxicants, but instinctively feel they would annihilate mindfulness.

Of course, please keep in mind that as far as my opinion about drinking wine and (small amounts of) spirits are concerned, other Buddhists may adamantly disagree with me. Alcohol is also off-limits to those on retreat and pursuing a monastic lifestyle, so please be aware that my thoughts about consuming alcohol relate to myself only. 

You think everything is suffering, right? How is that working out for you?
Well geez, if you put it that way . . . ! Actually, it's working out just fine, because it seems that many who are unfamiliar with Buddhism are put off by the First Noble Truth due to a misunderstanding of the Buddhist definition of suffering.

Yes, there is suffering, but the Pali word dukkha that we translate as 'suffering' actually has a much more complex meaning. Dukkha encompasses all suffering, from minor discomfort to extreme misery. It also refers to the unsatisfactoriness of all things, which directly relates to impermanence. But the beauty of the Four Noble Truths is that they read like the directions from a good doctor. There is a problem (dukkha, or suffering/unsatisfactoriness), there is a cause (tanha, or selfish craving), there is a cure, and that cure is following the Noble Eightfold Path. Suddenly- and thankfully- that suffering doesn't sound so bad. That is because not only is there a cure, but although it's not easy, realizing that cure is entirely within our control.   
Buddhists don't believe in God, right?
Those who have some background in Buddhism may have learned that the Buddha was not a god (although he may be worshipped as such in different traditions), but he was a human being as mortal as you and me. The difference is that Siddartha Guatama, a prince afflicted with worldly desires, overcame all suffering by becoming enlightened as a Buddha, who came to know the true nature of all things. His teachings are profound and universal, yet do not depend upon an omnipotent deity.

However, many misinterpret this as all Buddhists being atheists. While some are, Buddhism itself is most correctly described as non-theist. That means that to believe what Buddhists believe, and to live a pious life, a deity or god is not required- but is also not explicitly prohibited.

What do I think? Well, since starting on the Buddhist path, I grew to no longer see 'god' as some mysterious entity watching over us, consumed with the minutia of our daily 'virtue' and 'sin'. Instead I view God as a profound force of goodness and peace that is all around us. I often feel this great force when I walk within Nature. However, in making these statements, I am aware that people may agree or disagree.

What do you think happens, you know, after we die?
Frankly, I think it is fair to say that I simply don't know, and that I doubt that there are many out there who do. But I guess that if I can't say what people know, then I can summarize what I have read on the subject- at least as I understand it.

In the Abrahamic traditions, there is the concept of the everlasting soul. It goes on forever, unchanging, through one single lifespan and continuing long after the body's death. In Hinduism, there is also a concept of an unchanging, everlasting soul. This is known as Atman, or the realization of one's true self, which can span the duration of many earthly lives. In contrast, while Buddhists also believe their 'souls' are capable of inhabiting many different forms over vast expanses of time, they maintain that this 'soul' (often referred to consciousness or 'mindstream' in Buddhist terms) is constantly changing. Though they share the fundamental view that realization of the true nature of all things (including this 'thing' called 'self') leads to Nirvana, this ever-changing mindstream is one philosophical difference between Buddhism and Hinduism. In addition, through the Bardo Thodol (Tibetan book of the dead) Tibetan Buddhism has contributed extensively to possible explanations of what happens to our consciousness between death and the next rebirth.

However, though these different ideas are extremely interesting, I believe that if asked, I would not like to engage in a debate about this topic, simply because I do not (and may never) understand the truth. As far as I'm concerned, the important thing is how we use our current life to become a better person and benefit others.

*****
I hope you enjoyed this post. Are these questions you have come across as a Buddhist, or as a member of another faith/worldview? Do you have any questions to add? As always, I would love to hear your thoughts.

May all beings be happy!

Saturday, October 19, 2013

Trying too hard

Since discovering Buddhism as a way of life in 2007, I have seen some interesting things happen to people, including myself. For example, when I first started along the Buddhist path, I was very, well . . . let's just say I was enthusiastic. 

What I mean by that is once I was comfortable with fundamental Buddhist ideas, I really dove in. I read books, went to retreats, meetings, and events focused on Buddhism; I meditated and walked mindfully. Most of all, I had compassion for ALL living beings. No matter what, I strove to be compassionate and wise in all my actions . . .

I think you can see where this is going.

Then one evening I was walking home, a to-go vegetarian meal from Panera in my hand (a rare treat for me at the time). Out of nowhere, a homeless man came up to me asking for a dollar. Me, in my ever-noble "Buddhist" mode, handed him the dinner I had so been looking forward to. At first taken aback, the man thanked me, but proceeded to ask yet again for a dollar! Now it was my turn to be speechless. "But . . . but, I have just given you my dinner," I stammered. "Sorry, I don't have a dollar for you." (That was true- I had just spent my last bit of cash on the meal I had given him!). 

As you can imagine, I went home more than a little miffed. There I was, a grad student living paycheck to paycheck, "compassionately" giving my dinner to someone with the nerve to only ask for more! What the #*$@? 

Then I realized my mistake. For all my good intentions, I was trying too hard- and expecting too much. But I couldn't say that I didn't know better. Buddhism advocates that we should all work diligently to improve our attitudes and habits- However, we must also acknowledge that these changes take time. Although by nature we are all Buddhas-to-be, instantaneous revelation of our Buddha-nature (especially through self-righteous actions) is unlikely. Reflecting on that encounter with that (grateful, but) persistent homeless man, I was forced to revisit that fact. 

From that evening onwards, I started to let go a little bit. I let myself make mistakes, to be apathetic and impatient, to get angry. But, in contrast to before I had set along the Buddhist path, each time I engaged these negative emotions I learned from being aware of the harm they can do. Being more mindful of the consequences of my thoughts and actions has been a practical approach that I believe has helped me become a better person.

Since then, I have seen this type of experience happen to others. With the best of intentions, people (but especially it seems, new Buddhists) try so hard to be compassionate to all beings, wise in all their actions, striving towards enlightenment (and more often than not, humbly broadcasting their compassionate thoughts on social media!). As one can imagine, all this puts enormous pressure on any individual who is making their way along the Buddhist path- or any other path for that matter. 

Based on my my observations, there are generally two outcomes to this behavior. Some people eventually realize that their efforts are not sustainable and step back towards the Middle Way, while others buckle under the pressure and have a complete meltdown. Obviously, I think most of us would prefer the former. 

It is important to remember that as human beings most of us are struggling to find meaning, purpose, and peace in our lives. As we stumble along, it is painfully apparent how many wrong views and negative emotions we have. Overwhelmed, we may be tempted to go into fanatic overdrive to somehow make up for our unskillful actions. 

But we have to face the truth: Years -perhaps lifetimes- of bad habits are not going to disappear today. This type of change requires more than attending Buddhist retreats, switching to a vegetarian diet, and sitting in lotus position. It requires time, a lot of self-awareness, and most of all, hard work. As we slowly become more honest with ourselves, our thought patterns and actions will eventually be less driven by ego, or the the delusion that we have found some quick fix for years of carelessness. 

In truth, this is much more easier said than done. As I travel the Buddhist path, I for one am only making very small steps in what I believe is the right direction. But through it all, I am grateful for having found the Middle Way as a practical, balanced, and straightforward guide for my intentions, behavior, and life. 

*****
What did you think about this post? Have you witnessed others trying too hard to improve, or done this yourself? Do you think the Middle Way is the antidote to overzealousness?  

May all beings be happy!   

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Happy Dussehra!

For something a little different, I just wanted to wish my Hindu friends and family a Happy Dussehra! Dussehra is the celebration of the female Shakti, or trinity of Goddesses Lakshmi, Durga, and Saraswati. As one can imagine, women are central to the celebration and prayer, of which the focus are the Goddesses and offerings of their favorite foods. There is often also a special and creatively decorated construction called a Golu, which women build and show to other women who, along with their children, come to their house to admire- and also to eat delicious foods and socialize.

Below is a very simple Golu I put together for this year's Dussehra. Enjoy!


*****
May all beings be happy!

Saturday, October 12, 2013

Mealtime meditation: reflections on food

A few days ago I came across this beautiful mealtime meditation. It is from Ajahn Sumedho's The Way it is - a wonderfully introspective lecture-based book that delves into emptiness, dependent origination, and non-dualism. Sprinkled throughout are several thought-provoking reflections, including this one focusing on food. I thought it was a great reminder to be grateful for the food we eat and the nourishment it provides, so that we may continue our efforts to lead a good and wholesome life. 

Reflections on food

Wisely reflecting on this alms-food
I use it not to distract my mind
Nor to gratify desire,
Not to make my form impressive
Or to make it beautiful,
Simply to be sustained and nourished
And to maintain what health I have
To help fulfill the Holy Life;
   With this attitude in mind,
'I will allay hunger without overeating
So that I may continue to live blamelessly and at ease.'

*****
I think this also goes nicely with another wonderful mealtime meditation I posted years ago. I hope you enjoyed this blessing- What is your favorite mealtime prayer or meditation?

May all beings be happy!

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Letting go of dread, letting go of suffering

After several stressful weeks at work, this weekend I was finally able to kick back and relax for a bit- at least in theory. However, instead of thoroughly enjoying my time, I was (like millions of other people) bothered by a nagging sense of dread about going back to work on Monday. Of course, this put a little bit of a damper on my enjoyment of this much-anticipated down time. 

Last night it finally clicked: There I was, relaxing and spending time with my husband when the dread came over me again. Instead of giving in, I stopped for a moment and thought about the feeling. Sure, I had experienced a stressful few weeks, where weekends were just days crammed with more work. I acknowledged that it may actually take some time to 'come down' from the frantic pace and the pressure I had been under. 

But most of all, I realized what was happening was the flip side of what I usually do, the behavior I am aware of; and that is avoiding unpleasantness. From a Buddhist perspective, this can be called aversion. When viewed in the context of the Second Noble Truth, that suffering is caused by tanha, or selfish craving, it is clear that aversion is just a way that we express tanha by avoiding how things really are because of our own self-centered view of how they should be. Thus, we suffer.  

However, this time my dread was not motivated by aversion, but rather attachment, which is really another facet of tanha. When we experience something pleasurable, we hold on to it in our mind, grasping at the pleasure and fun because we never want it to end. But we know it will, and as we are reminded of this fact, we suffer. 

It is not that I have never done this, or that I no longer am prone to attachment (far from it!), but that in many ways I (thought I) had become better at enjoying myself in the moment because I had also become more accepting of the impermanent nature of all things, especially the good ones. Yet there I was this weekend, suffering as I grasped at joyous moments- and suffering in the moments between! 

My conclusion? I can only guess that this attitude is a product of stress, and that I need to find a way to deal with it. Moreover, I also suspect that my heightened feelings of attachment are directly (perhaps even proportionally) related to the strong aversion I felt towards that stress, indicating that as far as tanha goes, attachment and aversion seem inseparably - and profoundly- linked.  

What can you say about your experience with aversion and attachment? Do you agree they are linked in the way I described? Any advice? 
*****
May all beings be happy!