No safe spaces

Recently someone 'unfriended' me on social media in response to a difference in political opinion. It is not the first, second, or even third time this has happened. Although initially surprised, this time I am pretty indifferent about it. This is not because I do not care about the person, but it is becoming quite clear that many people have trouble navigating a world outside their own echo chambers. 

This is evidenced by the creation of 'safe spaces' that insulate people from potentially upsetting topics and hushing or marginalizing those with controversial or countering views. Counseling services have even been offered to youth in the wake of election outcomes. Although I think the real question is, "What the heck has happened to our society?!" I will save that for another day. What I prefer to discuss now is the pervasive climate of shutting down those with differing views, and my experience with it. 

Socially and ideologically, I have lived most of my life as an 'outsider', and it has not always been easy. In middle and high school, I was taunted and even threatened because my family spoke a different language at home (I know, kids will find anything to pick on!). In college, I was opposed by peers who enjoyed regurgitating without question whatever they learned in class. In graduate school and beyond, I would listen as those in authority mocked Christian values and ridiculed people for the books they read. But here's what takes the cake: hearing divisive remarks made by Buddhist Sangha 'leaders' prior to practicing loving-kindness meditation! 

Believe me, I am no martyr, and these situations sucked. They could be incredibly frustrating, and often felt very isolating, especially in the latter context. However, I do believe that I (eventually) benefitted from these experiences. This is because not only did I learn to defend my views and thoughtfully challenge opposing ones, but to actually listen to people with different life experiences, and to recognize when someone else is being singled out the way I was. I have also learned to determine when nothing will be gained from a debate (especially on social media!), making it wise to disengage from the conversation. 

My current attitude about other people's views (or my lack of concern for what they think of mine) didn't happen overnight- it was definitely a process. These days the main problem that arises is when I expect the same courtesy of understanding and openness from others. Moving away from this expectation without developing additional suspicion and ego attachment will be beneficial, but also difficult. 

So, no safe spaces for me, but I do believe that being a 'sore thumb' has made me a stronger, more reflective person. For that, I am grateful. 

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This post is part of the daily gratitude practice I am working to develop during 2018. You can read all about it at ByChanceBuddhism!

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May all beings be happy!