Monday, December 26, 2016

It's (still) always there

 . . . or should I say here? Though I may not always write, post, tweet, or talk about it, the Buddhist approach of mindfulness and the middle way is still with me. It affects my level of gratitude, how I view difficulties/obstacles, shapes my relationships, even affects the way I teach and interact with students. During the holidays we often reflect upon what we are grateful for, and, in addition to the cherished people in my life, the turn of events and struggles that led me to the Dharma is still one of them.

What are you grateful for this holiday season?

*****
May all beings be happy! 

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

The freedom of unhappiness

I have come to a realization about happiness. You can't fake it. It seems obvious, but if you think about it, that is what so many in the spiritual and self-help community advise.

Count your blessings. Be happy, be grateful, be content -no matter what.

While there are certainly many things to be grateful for, let's face it, some things just suck. 

But I've come to realize that it's okay to admit it. 

From the Buddhist perspective, the way to true contentment is to let go of our selfish desires and the myopic focus on ourselves. But on the other hand, contentment also comes from accepting things as they are. Reflecting on my own experience, for so long I have tried to be 'accepting' and 'content' no matter how bad, stressful, irritating, or painful something was. I'd say to myself things like, "I should just be grateful."  "But such-and-such has it so much worse", "think of all those who are suffering," or "instead just think of how lucky I am".

I've realized that doing this is wrong for two reasons. First of all, comparing myself to others. This is not empathy, but comparative misery at best- and straight up pity at worst. In this context, such thoughts do not solve anything, or increase compassion for myself or other people. Second, the truth about what I was really doing, which was shaming myself into happiness. Sounds absurd, right? But that's essentially what's been going on for I don't know how long. (I may be wrong, but I suspect that others do the same.)

I realize now that accepting how things are doesn't mean I have to be happy about it. In fact, I find that I can even feel pretty pissed off, as long as I let the emotion pass and don't hang on to it. And you know what? This has lifted a huge burden- one that I didn't even know was there. True acceptance doesn't dictate what emotion you "should" feel, or anything really. Things just are as they are.

For those of us who, try as we might, have not yet let go of this notion of "self" and the desires that come with it, being open to the emotions we truly feel in challenging situations can help minimize our pride and denial - which are probably pretty big obstacles to acceptance. Once we do that, we can look at our circumstances more realistically, understand why they are painful or unpleasant, then work towards true change in a way that is compassionate and beneficial to ourselves and others. Moreover, acknowledging the tough parts of our lives can freshen our perspective towards the things that are good.

Maybe if we do this, we can have a better chance of cultivating true gratitude and freedom - and maybe even happiness. 😊 

*****
Have you experienced this type of frustration with denial and 'forcing' happiness? What helped you step out of that mindset?

May all beings be happy!

Thursday, July 31, 2014

Buddhism in Uganda

A while back I was curious to see whether there is a Buddhist following in Africa. My search led me to the Uganda Buddhist Centre, located near the capital of Kampala. UBC was founded in 2005 by Ven. Buddharakkhita, a monk who has been ordained in the Theravada Buddhist tradition. Being the first and only Buddhist center in Uganda, there are many reasons why UBC is special, but another is that the nun at the center and Uganda's first Buddhist, Dhammakami, is the mother of Buddharakkhita, ordained by the Venerable himself.

I hope you enjoy listening to the Venerable's life story and spiritual journey. The last video is a slide show recounting Ven. Buddharakkhita's experience as a monk living in a tent and teaching Dharma from a mobile temple, and the series of events that led to the building of the UBC in 2007.

May all beings be happy!





Saturday, March 29, 2014

10 things that surprised me most about Buddhism

After first encountering basic Buddhist concepts and then learning more and more about them, I often found myself surprised, even awed, by what I learned. I don't know if it the Western 'pop-culture' view or my own Judeo-Christian background were the sources of my initial views of Buddhism, but the more I learned, the more I realized how much my initial impressions of Buddhist ideology differed greatly from the actual teachings and culture. I also remember some of my fellow Buddhists (who grew up in Southeast Asia, and had been born into a Buddhist culture) being surprised when they learned that I did not initially know some of these things about Buddhism (especially numbers 9 and 10), but were understanding about my lack of knowledge once I told them where I was coming from.

Here is my 'top ten' list of the things that surprised me most about Buddhism, from the mundane (and perhaps even silly) to the profound:

1. Many Buddhists are not vegetarians.
2. To be Buddhist, one doesn't have to renounce all one's material belongings (or shave your head!).
3. Buddhists are not necessarily pacifists.
4. Many Buddhists do not meditate regularly- in lotus position no less!
6. Buddhism has a tradition, even a foundation, of questioning and challenging beliefs.
7. Buddhism and science can harmoniously coexist.
8. Buddhism is not possessive, anyone can incorporate Buddhist principles into their life without 'becoming' Buddhist. 
9. Buddha was not a god, but a mortal human being who suffered as we do. The difference was that he found the way to end this suffering.
10. Buddhism is 'equal opportunity'. Every being in the universe has Buddha-nature, or the potential to become a Buddha. 

If you are a 'new' Buddhist like me, were you surprised by any of these characteristics of Buddhism? Do you have any to add? I would love to hear your thoughts!

*****
May all beings be happy!

Friday, March 28, 2014

In need of renewal

Maybe it's the fact that I am tired, stressed, that I have a sinus infection, or that I have been really worried about a loved one recently- but I feel old.

In years, I know I'm not, but my body, my mind, my soul all just feel really, really tired.

But I am over denying this feeling and trying to push through it. I decided today that I need to go on a journey of renewal, and to be gentle but firm in my resolution to return to my stronger, more vital self.

I have become more adjusted to the fact that life is hard- and that it isn't going to get any easier. But I also know that just because life is hard does not mean that it has to be filled with sorrow and dread. 

Regardless, I need my faith and loved ones more than ever, and hope that I can spend more of my waking hours in mindfulness, grateful for the opportunities I have been given.

I also wish that others will find the peace that I wish for myself.

*****
May all beings be happy!

Saturday, November 2, 2013

Buddhist FAQs: My views and experiences

Since I have started following the Buddhist Path, people have asked me questions about being Buddhist, and about Buddhists in general. These questions are interesting to me because they seem to reveal a set of expectations/generalizations people have about Buddhists, but often also indicate genuine interest and curiosity. Below I try to list some of the questions I (and others like me) have encountered, and give the best answer I can. Feel free to read my answers to the questions that interest you, and post your thoughts- and additional questions- in the comments below. 

How long do you meditate?
For me, not very long- about 10 minutes. Despite my best efforts, sitting for long periods of time causes pain. However, the good news for me and others who find sitting difficult is that there are many ways to meditate. Meditation can also be done sitting in a chair, lying down, and during activities like walking, cooking, and eating. Personally I enjoy walking meditation, and have benefited from alternating mindful contemplation with mindful walking and awareness during my long strolls. But one of the best answers to this question I have heard was from a monk named Venerable Sik Ji Xing, who, when asked said, "I meditate for 24 hours a day". This means that on and off the cushion, he makes a constant effort to be mindful, every minute of every day. Rather than worrying how long we can sit, I think this is truly a beautiful aspiration.

How often do you meditate?
I do sitting and walking meditation almost every day. As noted above, the key to meditation is being mindful and in the present moment wherever you are and whatever you're doing.

Aren't you vegetarian/vegan?
Nope. But my simple answer belies my complex thoughts on the matter. Looking for guidance in the Five Moral Precepts, Buddhists know that the very first one is clearly stated as "Refrain from killing."

But what is not clear is the prevailing view of the Buddhist community. For example, most Buddhist sects have no problem with laypeople eating meat. The kitchen of the Dalai Lama's residence at Dharmasala, India is vegetarian, but while abroad the Dalai Lama XIV has been known to eat meat. The Buddha himself was not a vegetarian, and when challenged to make all monks vegetarian, the Buddha refused. This I believe has a strong connection to the fact that all Bhikkus (Pali for monks) were to beg for alms each day, and therefore must accept the food given to them, whatever the source (indeed, the root meaning for the word Bhikku is 'to beg'). The main instruction the Buddha gave was to laypeople, that under no circumstances is an animal to be slaughtered for the benefit of a monk. This is likely linked to the Buddha's banning of animal sacrifice, a common practice in the Hindu community during his time.

How does all this relate to me? Well, for the most part, I eat a plant-based diet, but not exclusively. I feel the desire to eat meat less and less, and think this trend will continue. However, my goal is that even if I were to willingly stop eating meat, I would also not want to develop aversion towards it, so that I could still be grateful and gracious guest if someone were to serve me a meat-based meal.

Do you consume alcohol?
Yes, if you're talking about wine. As a family doctor once told my mother- "Wine is food!". The fifth of the Five Moral Precepts advises that one should refrain from the consumption of intoxicants that cause heedlessness. In my view, wine and beer can be consumed in moderation when enjoyed with other foods, without being a dire threat to mindfulness. However, I do believe that it is more difficult to consume 'hard' liquors in moderation, and almost impossible to do so for psychoactive drugs. I have never taken the latter type of intoxicants, but instinctively feel they would annihilate mindfulness.

Of course, please keep in mind that as far as my opinion about drinking wine and (small amounts of) spirits are concerned, other Buddhists may adamantly disagree with me. Alcohol is also off-limits to those on retreat and pursuing a monastic lifestyle, so please be aware that my thoughts about consuming alcohol relate to myself only. 

You think everything is suffering, right? How is that working out for you?
Well geez, if you put it that way . . . ! Actually, it's working out just fine, because it seems that many who are unfamiliar with Buddhism are put off by the First Noble Truth due to a misunderstanding of the Buddhist definition of suffering.

Yes, there is suffering, but the Pali word dukkha that we translate as 'suffering' actually has a much more complex meaning. Dukkha encompasses all suffering, from minor discomfort to extreme misery. It also refers to the unsatisfactoriness of all things, which directly relates to impermanence. But the beauty of the Four Noble Truths is that they read like the directions from a good doctor. There is a problem (dukkha, or suffering/unsatisfactoriness), there is a cause (tanha, or selfish craving), there is a cure, and that cure is following the Noble Eightfold Path. Suddenly- and thankfully- that suffering doesn't sound so bad. That is because not only is there a cure, but although it's not easy, realizing that cure is entirely within our control.   
Buddhists don't believe in God, right?
Those who have some background in Buddhism may have learned that the Buddha was not a god (although he may be worshipped as such in different traditions), but he was a human being as mortal as you and me. The difference is that Siddartha Guatama, a prince afflicted with worldly desires, overcame all suffering by becoming enlightened as a Buddha, who came to know the true nature of all things. His teachings are profound and universal, yet do not depend upon an omnipotent deity.

However, many misinterpret this as all Buddhists being atheists. While some are, Buddhism itself is most correctly described as non-theist. That means that to believe what Buddhists believe, and to live a pious life, a deity or god is not required- but is also not explicitly prohibited.

What do I think? Well, since starting on the Buddhist path, I grew to no longer see 'god' as some mysterious entity watching over us, consumed with the minutia of our daily 'virtue' and 'sin'. Instead I view God as a profound force of goodness and peace that is all around us. I often feel this great force when I walk within Nature. However, in making these statements, I am aware that people may agree or disagree.

What do you think happens, you know, after we die?
Frankly, I think it is fair to say that I simply don't know, and that I doubt that there are many out there who do. But I guess that if I can't say what people know, then I can summarize what I have read on the subject- at least as I understand it.

In the Abrahamic traditions, there is the concept of the everlasting soul. It goes on forever, unchanging, through one single lifespan and continuing long after the body's death. In Hinduism, there is also a concept of an unchanging, everlasting soul. This is known as Atman, or the realization of one's true self, which can span the duration of many earthly lives. In contrast, while Buddhists also believe their 'souls' are capable of inhabiting many different forms over vast expanses of time, they maintain that this 'soul' (often referred to consciousness or 'mindstream' in Buddhist terms) is constantly changing. Though they share the fundamental view that realization of the true nature of all things (including this 'thing' called 'self') leads to Nirvana, this ever-changing mindstream is one philosophical difference between Buddhism and Hinduism. In addition, through the Bardo Thodol (Tibetan book of the dead) Tibetan Buddhism has contributed extensively to possible explanations of what happens to our consciousness between death and the next rebirth.

However, though these different ideas are extremely interesting, I believe that if asked, I would not like to engage in a debate about this topic, simply because I do not (and may never) understand the truth. As far as I'm concerned, the important thing is how we use our current life to become a better person and benefit others.

*****
I hope you enjoyed this post. Are these questions you have come across as a Buddhist, or as a member of another faith/worldview? Do you have any questions to add? As always, I would love to hear your thoughts.

May all beings be happy!

Saturday, October 19, 2013

Trying too hard

Since discovering Buddhism as a way of life in 2007, I have seen some interesting things happen to people, including myself. For example, when I first started along the Buddhist path, I was very, well . . . let's just say I was enthusiastic. 

What I mean by that is once I was comfortable with fundamental Buddhist ideas, I really dove in. I read books, went to retreats, meetings, and events focused on Buddhism; I meditated and walked mindfully. Most of all, I had compassion for ALL living beings. No matter what, I strove to be compassionate and wise in all my actions . . .

I think you can see where this is going.

Then one evening I was walking home, a to-go vegetarian meal from Panera in my hand (a rare treat for me at the time). Out of nowhere, a homeless man came up to me asking for a dollar. Me, in my ever-noble "Buddhist" mode, handed him the dinner I had so been looking forward to. At first taken aback, the man thanked me, but proceeded to ask yet again for a dollar! Now it was my turn to be speechless. "But . . . but, I have just given you my dinner," I stammered. "Sorry, I don't have a dollar for you." (That was true- I had just spent my last bit of cash on the meal I had given him!). 

As you can imagine, I went home more than a little miffed. There I was, a grad student living paycheck to paycheck, "compassionately" giving my dinner to someone with the nerve to only ask for more! What the #*$@? 

Then I realized my mistake. For all my good intentions, I was trying too hard- and expecting too much. But I couldn't say that I didn't know better. Buddhism advocates that we should all work diligently to improve our attitudes and habits- However, we must also acknowledge that these changes take time. Although by nature we are all Buddhas-to-be, instantaneous revelation of our Buddha-nature (especially through self-righteous actions) is unlikely. Reflecting on that encounter with that (grateful, but) persistent homeless man, I was forced to revisit that fact. 

From that evening onwards, I started to let go a little bit. I let myself make mistakes, to be apathetic and impatient, to get angry. But, in contrast to before I had set along the Buddhist path, each time I engaged these negative emotions I learned from being aware of the harm they can do. Being more mindful of the consequences of my thoughts and actions has been a practical approach that I believe has helped me become a better person.

Since then, I have seen this type of experience happen to others. With the best of intentions, people (but especially it seems, new Buddhists) try so hard to be compassionate to all beings, wise in all their actions, striving towards enlightenment (and more often than not, humbly broadcasting their compassionate thoughts on social media!). As one can imagine, all this puts enormous pressure on any individual who is making their way along the Buddhist path- or any other path for that matter. 

Based on my my observations, there are generally two outcomes to this behavior. Some people eventually realize that their efforts are not sustainable and step back towards the Middle Way, while others buckle under the pressure and have a complete meltdown. Obviously, I think most of us would prefer the former. 

It is important to remember that as human beings most of us are struggling to find meaning, purpose, and peace in our lives. As we stumble along, it is painfully apparent how many wrong views and negative emotions we have. Overwhelmed, we may be tempted to go into fanatic overdrive to somehow make up for our unskillful actions. 

But we have to face the truth: Years -perhaps lifetimes- of bad habits are not going to disappear today. This type of change requires more than attending Buddhist retreats, switching to a vegetarian diet, and sitting in lotus position. It requires time, a lot of self-awareness, and most of all, hard work. As we slowly become more honest with ourselves, our thought patterns and actions will eventually be less driven by ego, or the the delusion that we have found some quick fix for years of carelessness. 

In truth, this is much more easier said than done. As I travel the Buddhist path, I for one am only making very small steps in what I believe is the right direction. But through it all, I am grateful for having found the Middle Way as a practical, balanced, and straightforward guide for my intentions, behavior, and life. 

*****
What did you think about this post? Have you witnessed others trying too hard to improve, or done this yourself? Do you think the Middle Way is the antidote to overzealousness?  

May all beings be happy!