Course in Culture: A Lifetime of Learning

In less than a week from now, my future in-laws are traveling from India to stay with my fiance and me before we get married on the 20th of this month. Except for the fact that my 'pod' filled with all my worldly possessions is arriving only tomorrow, and that my fiance and I will have to scramble to get the house in order, I am not nervous. I have spent time with my in-laws before, and they are very kind, open-minded, and amiable people.

But I do realize that with them and of course, my fiance, in my life, I have a lot of learning to do. 

During my teenage years I had the wonderful, life-changing opportunity to live overseas twice, due to the foresight and effort of my amazing parents. After coming back from abroad, people always thought that I was so sophisticated and worldly, that I was the 'cultured' one.

And you might say by the definition of having been many different places, I am 'worldly'. I believe that there is little in the mundane world that can expand the mind more than travel. 

However, like anything else that is 'good for you', it only helps if you are open to it. I was, just because I couldn't help it. I love learning about different cultures, and always have. Maybe it's the influence of my Grandmother and Mom - I don't know.

But the point I am getting to is that just as with anything fascinating, the more I learn, the more I realize I have to learn. I also realize how exciting, humbling, and awe-inspiring that can be!

And so here I stand, hand in hand with my fiance, on the edge of Indian culture, one of the most ancient contemporary civilizations on earth today. Am I nervous? A little. Overwhelmed? Absolutely. But also exhilarated. As I look forward to the years ahead with my fiance, I see us building a life together. I also look forward to the daily lessons in culture, in a lifetime rich in learning and love.

May all beings be happy! 

Doing Nothing: An Accomplishment? (Yes!)

A little while ago I wrote about the first chapter of Martha Beck's book, The Joy Diet: 10 Daily Practices for a Happier Life. In that chapter, Beck emphasizes that one result of our busy lives is that we are always doing, which brings us further and further away from our true selves. Her remedy is to spend just 5-15 minutes a day not-doing. Not talking, walking, eating, surfing the net, or sleeping, but to just sit there, being.

I agreed with her rationale, yet, until recently, I had yet to experience it deeply.

Over the past several weeks, all my life was doing, with little to no time for anything else. Between finishing up the lab work for my Ph.D., getting ready to move, planning our wedding, packing, cleaning, and moving, I had little choice in the matter. It wore me completely ragged, and bouts of weepy-ness and feelings of desperation were common.

But last Thursday was different. Besides spending some of the day indulging in blissful slumber, I spent the rest of the day not-doing. Of course what this really means (and what Beck is really getting at) is that in my not-doing, I spent most of the day in mindful meditation. Not cross-legged, in lotus position, or any of the notions of what meditation purists say it 'should' be, but just sitting, breathing, being.

And in the hyper-busy warp-speed lifestyle that is so common today, I feel that this day of repose and reflection was a true accomplishment.

What do you think? I would love to hear your opinion and experiences. 

May all beings be happy!

An Amazing New Blog

Just a shout-out to a great new blog with a great premise: I decided to live!!

It seems that one of my sister's friends has decided to start a blog, where she will write about living life to the fullest for 365 days. She has already written about a number of important topics, from truly enjoying the simple things in life to beginning to heal from the heartbreak of a miscarriage.  

I think she is on to something great, and that her writing style and enthusiasm will attract a lot of readers. Given the pervasive and serious problem modern society has in really living, I also think her blog will be of great benefit to many.

Enjoy!

http://365daysoflivingoutloud.blogspot.com/

May all beings be happy!

A Room is Just a Room

Yesterday I moved out of my beloved apartment, where I had spent three happy years with two wonderful roommates. It was a beautiful place with fantastic rent, with large picture windows, a walk-in closet, fireplace, large balcony, and a separate loft where my roommate and her two cute cats lived.

I know that being in a new place several hundred miles away, I will miss my spacious and beautiful apartment. But as I closed the door to my bedroom one last time, I realized that all the amenities were nothing compared to the fact that I was now going to be living with my fiance, who will become my husband later this month. It is hard to believe that it has been 11 months since we lived in the same town- and the same state!!

As I write this post nestled in blankets, recovering from the stress and strain of moving, I know that I am now home. A room is just a room, and now it is time for someone else to enjoy my old apartment. Our place is no mansion, but I know that my future husband and I can work together to make a beautiful home, filled with warmth and love.

"It takes hands to build a house, but only hearts can build a home."  ~Author Unknown

May all beings be happy!!

Note to Self: Let's Stress Compassion

In my last post I wrote about stress, and how constantly hearing about other people's 'little' problems can try one's patience. Questioning my annoyance, I realized that it was unfair to judge how others deal with stress. This because the only way we can learn how to deal with stress is, unfortunately, to experience it ourselves. Stress is a global human problem, but also a very personal one that can only be truly relevant to the person experiencing it.

In this post I wanted to get to the core reason of writing about this topic. As I contemplated the issue, one of the most obvious conclusions was that it is all relative. I thought of all the people in my life who have been under intense pressure, and my thoughts rested on my Mom, who was so strong while my Dad was in the hospital with a serious condition. Yes, it was difficult for me as a ten year old kid, but as I thought of her, dealing with it herself, I was overcome with compassion. She not only dealt with the overwhelming amount of stress, but she protected me from it. Throughout my childhood, my parents instilled a 'roll with the punches' attitude. If they had not done this, I may not have dealt with the stresses I later experienced in a constructive manner. I thank both of them for their excellent guidance.

So over the past few days I have explored three ideas about stress: 

1) Judging others for how they react to stress is not only unfair, it is impossible. Anything felt by someone else is beyond our experience. I had to take my self and feelings out of the equation to respond to other people's stress more respectfully.   

2) Removing myself from the situation made me especially open to how relative stress is. This reinforced the notion that what I have experienced in my life may seem like a cakewalk to someone else, which in turn helped me generate compassion for others.

3) Attitude is everything in how one deals with stress, regardless of prior experience. Often, we have someone else to thank for helping us develop a positive attitude. I owe that thanks to my parents.

Did this post benefit you? How? Is there anything you would like to add?

May all beings be happy!

Note to Self: Stress is a Human Problem

The other day I was a little out of sorts as I felt everyone around me was making mountains out of their own personal molehills ('white whine', anyone?). Plagued by annoyance, I decided to step back a bit and think about why I was reacting. I revisited the various sources of stress that had been in my life since childhood. Despite an otherwise happy life, the effects of some have only partially subsided.

Still, I felt that I needed to get off my high horse. I can roll my eyes about people's whining, but I should not judge how 'well' others deal with stress. Unfortunately, learning how to live with stress can only come from experience, and that is really not something I would want to go around wishing on people. It is impossible to project how others 'should' deal with stress, since all stress a person's life is relative to what they alone have experienced. All anyone can expect another human being to do is to react accordingly.

So, as 'good' as I have become in dealing with stress, it does not mean that I am prepared for anything. In fact, not even close. I have encountered high levels of stress, and know that I will probably continue to do so. But in order to correct my lack of understanding of others' stress I had to take myself out of the equation and focus on seeing stress (in its myriad forms) as a truly global human problem. 

What do you think? Would thinking less about your own emotions and more about the overall picture help you? What suggestions do you have?

May all beings be happy!

Short and Sweet

Hello Everyone! I just wanted to acknowledge that my past few posts have been kind of lengthy. Although I recognize the value of sometimes just letting the thoughts flow into the keyboard, I also know that short posts can be the most powerful. Just as the realm of scientific papers and Haiku poetry uphold succinctness, I will make writing concise, well-written posts my new goal. After all, there are people who make a living with poetry, short stories, and scientific writing. (I think they might be on to something!!! * wink *)

May all beings be happy!!