As I arrive at the one-year anniversary of when I started this gratitude practice, I am aware that it is still clearly in its early stages. Despite my efforts, I have yet to develop a consistent gratitude ritual/meditation that serves as a reminder when I am not writing here at BCB. Over the past year, I have not carried out some of the 'acts of gratitude' for people who have stood out in their love and support for me and everything I hold dear in life. Finally, there are still so many people whom I wish to thank, but I have not yet written the posts acknowledging their kindnesses.
But nevertheless, things have progressed. A year ago my mind and attitude were in such a stark place; sinking ever downwards. I knew that I was not where I wanted to be, but hadn't quite devised a plan that could successfully ease my own suffering; let alone confer benefits beyond myself.
Enter gratitude. At the time I thought that with all the mental baggage I was sorting through, finding things to be grateful for and expressing that gratitude in a genuine way would be so difficult. Only it wasn't. Instead, I soon felt gratitude flow into my heart as I was going about my daily tasks and interactions with the people I love. The time was right and I was ready for all gratitude had to offer.
Although gratitude does not automatically erase all mistakes and bad feelings, it quickly became a refuge that shielded me from the fallout caused by negative emotions and events. Rather than being a place of denial and aversion, gratitude steered me towards a place of truth where I acknowledged the ups and downs of reality, but also rejoiced in what was good.
So here I am, a little over a year later, and, in terms of expressing gratitude, I have but only scratched the surface. But when I really step back to think about it, did I ever really believe that I would be 'done' with this practice, that I could actually say 'that's enough'? I don't think so.
But I do think that now it is clear that I must continue onwards, expanding and deepening this sacred practice that I am so grateful for, in and of itself.
*****
Although gratitude does not automatically erase all mistakes and bad feelings, it quickly became a refuge that shielded me from the fallout caused by negative emotions and events. Rather than being a place of denial and aversion, gratitude steered me towards a place of truth where I acknowledged the ups and downs of reality, but also rejoiced in what was good.
So here I am, a little over a year later, and, in terms of expressing gratitude, I have but only scratched the surface. But when I really step back to think about it, did I ever really believe that I would be 'done' with this practice, that I could actually say 'that's enough'? I don't think so.
But I do think that now it is clear that I must continue onwards, expanding and deepening this sacred practice that I am so grateful for, in and of itself.
*****
This post is part of the daily gratitude practice I am working to develop. You can read all about it at ByChanceBuddhism!
*****
May all beings be happy!
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