I've finally freed myself

It seems like ever since I can remember I have been working to improve myself. Lose weight, tone down, eat better, work harder, get better grades, be more confident. During this journey of 'self-improvement', I went from being a gung-ho, crash-and-burn type to someone who gradually works towards personal change. As you can imagine, the second method has brought me the most success. 

Yet recently I have felt very frustrated. Although I may have accomplished a lot in the past few years, I still have many more goals- perhaps more than I have had at any time in my life. But I don't seem to be getting anywhere with any of them. 

Thinking of posts I've read from success gurus like Leo Babauta, I decided to make one last-ditch effort. Leo is at the forefront of advocating bite-sized change for big-time goals, from losing weight to becoming a great athlete. Baby steps are key.

With this in mind, I planned to take the smallest step I could. I made a date with myself to work on my own self-improvement, for just one minute each day. I could choose to do anything I wanted, and stay at one minute until I was comfortable to move on to two minutes, then three, then four . . . all the way up to an hour of working on self-improvement each day. What a great idea! (Right?)    

Well, even though I do actually think this was a pretty decent plan, I had not anticipated the massive resistance I would put up against it. After procrastinating for several hours, I finally was ready to do my 'one minute'. However, instead of the one minute of pushups I had planned, I just sat there and rested for one minute. Then two. Then three. 

Feeling defeated and angry at myself, I decided to go for a long walk to calm down. As I was walking, I kept wondering what the hell was wrong with me. Couldn't I just work on improving myself for ONE MINUTE?! How lazy am I, really?! 

After some time I calmed down and thought more rationally about my behavior. Okay, I had obviously been resistant to that one little minute of change because I simply didn't want to do it. Fine.

But it was the answer to my next question, Why didn't I want to do it?, that really hit me. 

"Because I've had enough!" my mind blurted out. Surprised, I realized in that moment that I don't need to do this to myself anymore. The idea of 'self-improvement' is all well and good, but the way I was going about it was sucking the joy out of my life. All the goals I have, everything I love and want to do in life, I had demoted to mere drudgery. 

And, turning inward, I realized something more. My slavish effort in 'self-improvement' was implying (and constantly re-enforcing) that there is something fundamentally wrong with me, that I somehow need to 'fix'. I know now that this is simply not true. I don't need any more 'improvement'.

Does this mean I think I am perfect? Absolutely not. But I think it is time for me to become comfortable with my own imperfection. Following a Buddhist way of life has helped me establish and strengthen a code of conduct not based on faith alone. Instead, the guidelines set by the Buddha in the Four Noble Truths, the Noble Eightfold Path, and Five Moral Precepts have resonated with me as fundamental laws of the universe. In my effort to be in balance with them, these guidelines have helped set a distinct framework for my behavior, and shifted the emphasis of what I feel is important in life. 

Keeping this framework close to my heart, I think the time has come that I just need to do what makes me happy. It is in this way I will work towards my goals, joyfully, without self-reproach and judgement. 

I am finally free.

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I feel like a butterfly, spreading my wings in freedom!

May all beings be happy (even me)! :)

As always, I welcome your comments. With love and Metta, Renata

You never know!

Because my last post was about the Dalai Lama's 77th birthday, I thought I would write a quick blurb on the coattails of that, since this experience is (at least remotely) related. 

On a visit to my husband's workplace last week, I remembered that it was the Dalai Lama's birthday, so I thought it would be nice to post about it. While I was writing, a colleague of my husband's stopped by to say hello- It was his birthday, too! However, he was unfortunately (albeit jokingly) rather bummed out, having been born on the same day as former US president, George W. Bush. 

I laughed and said that if he thought that was such a bad thing, he might be happy to know that he also shares his birthday with His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama. He brightened up for a second, then made a sudden 'head exploding' motion with his hands. "The Dalai Lama and George W. Bush have the same birthday?! Mind blown!" 

"Yes", I said, "and you too!" Then I jokingly shook my finger at him, "That is why you should never let people get under your skin. You never know what you'll have in common with them!" He shrugged his shoulders and sighed. (I don't blame him for sighing- I can be such a pain sometimes!)

But you know, I was only being sassy because I have learned this lesson myself. There have been times when for some reason I have been really put off by someone, disagreeing with them about almost everything. Yet, some of these same people have also become good friends of mine (eventually :).

The only reason I can think of why we became friends is because there was a mutual effort to see through the superficial. The fact is, I have realized that although I won't necessarily 'like' everyone (and vise versa!), I can now stand back and know that anyone, friend or foe, has the capacity to surprise. (And apparently, people have also realized the same thing about me)   

Have you had such an experience, where someone you thought you had nothing in common with suddenly surprises you? Perhaps you didn't become BFFs, but what did you learn? Please share in the comments below, I would love to hear your take on this!

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"Hanging on to resentment is letting someone you despise living rent-free in your head" Ann Landers (Esther Lederer) 

May all beings be happy!

Happy Birthday!

. . . To His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama, Jamphel Ngawang Lobsang Yeshe Tenzin Gyatso, the exiled Tibetan leader and 1989 Nobel Peace Prize Laureate. He began life as Lhamo Dhondup, born to a farming family in the tiny village of Taktser, Tibet, 1935. According to Tibetan Buddhist tradition and through mystic signs that led a government deputation from Lhasa to Taktser, at the age of two he was discovered to be the reincarnation of the 13th Dalai Lama, Thubten Gyatso. You can read more about the Dalai Lama's life before and after his exile from Tibet in 1959 here. Biography is from the official website of the 14th Dalai Lama. 

Of course, there are numerous festivities going on around the world to celebrate this day. Please enjoy this slideshow of people celebrating the birthday of the 14th Dalai Lama in India and Nepal. Slideshow is from TIMEWorld. 

Other articles:

The Dalai Lama's 77th Birthday Celebrated in Dharamsala Article is from New York Daily News.

Tibetans celebrate the Dalai Lama's 77th Birthday Article is Associated Press via ABC News. 

Dalai Lama 77th birthday celebrations ready for July 6th Article is from the Huffington Post. 

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May all beings be happy! As always, please share your views and experiences in the comments below.

Update and caution: Apparently some people out there are trying to exploit this joyous occasion so they can infect computers with malware. If you get an email with a subject line that goes something like: "Dalai Lama's birthday on July 6th to be a low-key affair" Don't open it or the attachment enclosed! You can read the article about the malware at http://www.net-security.org/malware_news.php?id=2176

A lotus for you . . .

. . . a Buddha to be.

Said with hands held in a prayer position in front of the heart, these beautiful words are a common greeting between Buddhists at temples and meditation retreats. The joined hands represent the bud of a lotus flower, preparing to blossom in all its beauty and purity. As Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh explains, "The meditation practitioner is like a lotus flower in the process of blooming. Buddhas are fully bloomed flowers, beautiful and refreshing. All of us are Buddhas-to-be." This is one of the main reasons why people practicing meditation and the Dhamma greet each other in this way. 

As a botanist, flowers and plants in general inspire a great amount of fascination and interest, but the lotus has always been among my favorites (A happy premonition, perhaps? :) Since becoming a Buddhist and learning about both Buddhist and Hindu spiritual symbolism, this sacred flower now has taken on a deep personal meaning. I find that the inspiring way these delicate blooms emerge so purely from the deep, dark muck below are a great subject for contemplation. 

Is the same true for you? How does the symbolism of the lotus blossom inspire you in your life? Please share your thoughts in the comments below.  

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The following images are from a trip my husband and parents took to Pennsylvania's beautiful Longwood Gardens a few weeks ago. Much to our delight, the lotus ponds nestled between the wings of the enormous, four-acre conservatory were in full bloom. I hope you enjoy looking at some of the pictures we took there- I couldn't think of a better time to share them!  

Overview of the central lotus pond, with a beautiful Indian lotus contemplating its own breathtaking reflection. 

A magenta colored lotus emerging from the dark water, luminous in the sunshine. 

A lovely purple lotus, with its bountiful petals. 

A delicate white lotus. 

My favorite image: A delicately pink water lily looking almost silken in the bright afternoon sun. I love how the reflection of clouds in the sky seem to caress the flower; a harmonious union of earth, sky, water, and sun.  

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I hope you've enjoyed these images I have posted today. I know that I certainly enjoyed capturing these photos and sharing them with you!

May all beings be happy- and now a lotus for you, a Buddha to be! _/|\_ 

Buddhism in the news, June 2012

The following is my new monthly "Buddhism in the News" segment, where I provide links to articles about Buddhism, along with news of prominent Buddhists and everyday laypeople. Buddhism is an ancient religion, but it is also very much alive and relevant today. By writing these posts, I hope to show how very true that is. I am certain that I have probably not included all important events, but I think the articles below are a good sampling of current Buddhist happenings around the world. I welcome you to browse the linked articles below and read what interests you. Enjoy!

1. Ancient statue reveals prince who would become the Buddha Ancient artifacts discovered in the ruins of the Buddhist monastery Mes Aynak in Afghanistan show representations of prince Siddhartha Gautama before he became the Buddha. The stone statue, or stele, was found in 2010, but had not been analyzed until recently, and may provide evidence of a cult dedicated to celebrating events in Siddhartha's life before his enlightenment. Article is from Fox News.

2. Buddhist yoga retreat death raises questions about Arizona monk's 'Enlightenment Preaching' An account of the story that ended in the death of Ian Thorson, who was attending the three year yoga retreat with his wife. His wife had previously been married to the man leading the retreat, who some say has built a bizarre Buddhist cult around himself. His practices have been heavily criticized by the Dalai Lama and other leaders in the Tibetan Buddhist tradition. Police investigating the death do not suspect foul play, but people are now questioning what has been going on at the retreat, set near a remote town in Arizona. Article is from ABC news.

3. South Korean monks launch reforms following gambling scandal An update to the scandal that broke last month, where South Korean monks were caught on video in a luxury hotel suite drinking, smoking, and playing an illegal poker game with stakes reaching $875,300 USD. Reforms include hiring outside financial professionals to manage the funds of the monastic order, lay people to run the temples, and making financial records open to the public. Article from the Global Post.

4. Censorship in China is morally wrong: Dalai Lama The Dalai Lama speaks out on the control of information and freedom of movement of the Chinese People by the Chinese government. He insists that the Chinese people have a right to know the realities of their current situation, and to be able to freely determine right from wrong based on correct information. Article is from Firstpost.World.

5. The Dalai Lama and Myanmar's Aung San Suu Kyi meet in London A brief article of the two Nobel laureates' half hour meeting in London. It was the first time Aung San Suu Kyi had been abroad to Europe in 24 years. She was released from house arrest in Myanmar in 2010. Article is from NYDailyNews.com

6. Crisis in Myanmar over Buddhist-Muslim clash Violence between Muslims and Buddhists in the Rakhine state in Myanmar has resulted in the burning of 500 homes and 17 deaths. President Thein Sein has declared a state of emergency in this part of the country. Article is from the New York Times.

7. Buddha attacked by Taliban in 2007 gets facelift An Italian archeologist has partially reconstructed the face of the Jahanabad Buddha located in the Swat valley in Northwest Pakistan, which had been dynamited by Taliban extremists in 2007. The article also discusses the concern regarding the protection and preservation of other ancient Buddhist, Hindu, and Muslim sites in the region. From NYDailyNews.com.

8. American Buddhism on the Rise A video of 'Buddhafest' film festival in Arlington, Virginia featuring people who discuss their interest in Buddhism, and what benefits they have received from learning about and practicing the Buddhist faith. Video from PBS.

9. What's an American Buddhist? This article discusses the huge boom of Buddhism in North America since 1990, and why Americans and others may have been attracted to this ancient faith. There is also an interesting discussion of cultural differences between 'Eastern' traditions and 'Western' practitioners, how they may emerge in the practices of North American Buddhists, and how the basic tenets of the Buddhist faith unites them. Article from the Washington Post.

10. Buddhism and the unconscious An article discussing the connections between the theories of the unconscious from psychoanalyst Carl Jung and ideas about our survival as a species from biologist Edward O. Wilson, all compared with Buddhist psychology. From the blog Huffington Post.

11. Keeping the peace: Britain's Buddhist police A very interesting article about Buddhist officers in the British police force. The article features an account by Sergeant Gary Watts, who, feeling isolated, reached out to see if there were others like him on the police internal website message board. He was surprised to find that there were in fact others in the force, both officers and staff, who practiced Buddhism. Sergeant Watts also discusses the issue of using force during his job, and describes that using force can be done properly and guided by Buddhist principles, if it is only used to protect himself and others, and without anger or malice. In the future he hopes to offer meditation classes to all officers for the purpose of health and general well-being. Article from The Telegraph.

12. Europe's largest Buddhist temple inaugurated in Bussy-Saint-Georges Public figures and representatives from several religious groups were present to inaugurate the new Buddhist temple on June 24th, 2012. The temple, which is now the largest Buddhist temple in Europe, will open to the public on July 1st. A slideshow of images from the inauguration accompanies this article from Citizenside.com.

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As always, please share your thoughts about whatever captured your interest in the comments. Also please let me know if I missed something important this month by providing the title of the article. I will google it and include it here, with credit to you! :) Finally, if you are reading this at a later date, please inform me of any dead links, since some newspapers post articles for a short time before archiving them. Thank you so much!

May all beings be happy!

Turning 30: Lessons for my younger self

Earlier this month I hit another (albeit relatively artificial) milestone in my life. My twenties have come to a close, and I now suddenly find myself to be 30 years old. Although I do marvel at where the time has gone, I in no way feel 'old'. If it wasn't for the lessons I have learned and the lines forming on my face, I could persuade myself that 19 was only yesterday. 

But despite feeling 20, I am glad to be 30. I think it is an accomplishment that all things considered, I still love to smile, laugh, and continue to be ever-curious about life. And yes, I am still a little goofy and immature. 

Recently I came across something I had written years ago, a note listing goals I had for my life. I also expressed concern for my future, wondering if I would ever finish my degree or get married (at the time I was already dating the wonderful man who is now my husband). 

Now here I am, a recently married woman, and an even more recent PhD. The words I had written made me smile, but mostly at my own ignorance. Although happily married and proud of my academic accomplishments, I now know that these things do not define me. It is the love, laughter, hard work, and character built along the way that matters. And the amazing thing is, I have found that I can be happy, right here, right now, but only if I let myself. I am pretty sure the same is true for everyone, but also think it is something we all must learn on our own.  

With this in mind, I thought of other things I have learned this past decade. If I could send a letter back in time, these are the things I would tell my 20-year-old self:   

• True compassion is not what you think it is. It is not pity, or even charity for that matter. And it is most certainly not 'people pleasing'. You will learn the difference. 
• By all means help friends in need, and cheer them up if they've got the blues. But stay away from malcontents. They will bring you down, and their jealousy will poison your happiness. Smile and walk away, your grace and dignity intact. 
• The less people know about you, the better. Never talk too much about yourself or your relationships with others. Listen mindfully to those around you instead. 
• Speaking of less, it really is more. In almost every aspect of your life. 
• If you are unsure about a decision, think, "Will I regret it if I do it, or regret it if I don't?". Trust your instincts.
• Never believe that someone else has your best interests at heart. Those who claim to may be genuine, but really, how could they know what makes your heart soar? Only you can know that, so don't be complacent. 
• To quote Eleanor Roosevelt, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent". Take that quote to heart, girl!
• Anything in this world worth having does not come easy. Personal growth is definitely one of them, and requires patience and being gentle with yourself. Instead of kicking yourself for what you didn't achieve yesterday, focus on the progress you've made today.
• The only actions you can control are your own. You are never in control of other people's thoughts, actions, and beliefs, so let go of worrying about them. If an issue arises that causes concern, the only thing you can rightfully do is lead by example.   

and last but not least . . .  

• Despite what you may think now, know that a spiritual life is possible, even for a nonconformist like you :) Just don't think that it has to be what other people think or say it should be. So go ahead, keep exploring your beliefs- and more importantly, continue challenging them! 

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Did you enjoy this post? What are some of the things you would tell your younger self? Please share in the comments below.

May all beings be happy!

Buddhism in the news, May 2012

The following is something I would like to start doing regularly, and that is writing summaries of events centered around Buddhism that are happening around the world, along with news of prominent Buddhists and everyday laypeople. In addition to selecting interesting articles, I will also try to choose pieces that discuss pervasive human problems and how people are trying to solve them in the context of Buddhism. Buddhism is an ancient religion, but it is also very much alive and relevant today. By writing these posts, I hope to show how very true that is.  

The first few articles in this month's post are from February 2012 onwards, the rest having been written in May 2012. I am certain that I have probably not included all important events, but I think the articles below are a good sampling of current Buddhist happenings around the world. I welcome you to browse the linked articles below and read what interests you most. Enjoy!

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1. 35 Hindu and Buddhist statues in Maldives destroyed by extremist group A story from February describing the destruction of priceless Buddhist and Hindu artifacts in a Maldives museum. The article is from The Buddhist Channel.

2. Mindful eating as food for thought A February article from the New York Times about mindful eating practices. The article is accompanied by a slide show.

3. South Korea: Ven. Pomnyun's work for the humanitarian crisis in North Korea An April New York Times article recounting how Ven. Pomnyun first came face to face with the suffering in North Korea, and what he is doing now to help alleviate it. This article also discusses the criticism the Venerable has encountered because of his activism.

4. Lama Lobtsul of the Palri Pema Od Ling Tibetan Buddhist Temple in Austin, TX An account of the duties of Tibetan Buddhist Lama Lobtsul at this temple that houses a rare statue of Guru Rinpoche. The article also gives an account of Lama Lobtsul's life as he was growing up, and how he would practice his faith in secret because of the political situation in China at the time. The article is from the New York Times.

5. South Korea: monks resign after poker scandal Monks behaving badly! Some Buddhist monks in South Korea were caught on video tape gambling, smoking, and drinking alcohol. There will no doubt be follow-ups to this article as the story unfolds.

6. Wesak celebrations in Kuantan, Malaysia This article about a Wesak celebration in Malaysia mentions the name of a blessed Venerable, Ven. Sik Ji Xing, whom I have had the pleasure to meet in person during my grad years at Purdue University. This article is from the Malaysian newspaper, The Star.

7. Stupa and Buddha statue discovered in Uppugundur, A.P., India A really interesting archeological find in Andhra Pradesh, India, the state where my husband is from. Article is from the Indian newspaper, The Hindu.

8. Dalai Lama alleges there is a Chinese plot to assassinate him The the Dalai Lama's account of an assassination plot devised by the Chinese government, and the reaction from Chinese officials. Article is from The Telegraph.

9. Dalai Lama receives $1.7 million from prestigious Templeton Prize, donates to charity An article from BBC detailing the fourteenth Dalai Lama's donation of the entire $1.7 million USD awarded by the Templeton Prize to Save the Children in India and the Minds and Life Institute.

10. Buddhist encyclopedia published in city of Elista, Kalmykia, Russia Article from the Indian newspaper, The Hindu about a Buddhist encyclopedia funded by the Indian Embassy in the Kalmykia region of Russia. It seems that numerous temples have been built in predominately Buddhist regions of Buryatia, Kalmykia, and Tuva. Tuva is also home to the largest Buddha statue in Russia. Who knew?!

11. Islamic design rules imposed on all buildings, including Kelantan Buddhist Association building in Kelantan, Malaysia Controversial building codes are imposed on every business and public organization in the northern state of Kelantan, Malaysia. This article is from the Indonesian newspaper, The Jakarta Post.

12. Opinion response to imposed rules on buildings in Kelantan, Malaysia Response to imposed building codes in the Malaysian newspaper 'The Star'

13. Sri Lankan Buddhist monk visits Mesa, Arizona Press release of Sri Lankan Buddhist monk Dhammagavesi's visit to the Arizona International Buddhist Meditation Center.

14. Video: Novice monks in Seoul, South Korea play soccer to celebrate the Buddha's birthday Endearing Reuters video of young South Korean novice monks playing soccer together during Wesak.

15. NGO alleges Buddhist heritage sites in North India are in a state of neglect It seems that important Buddhist sites in the north Indian states of Bihar, Punjab, Rajastan, and Uttar Pradesh have been underfunded and otherwise mismanaged, and thus have fallen into disrepair. This article from The Hindu also mentions that Bodh Gaya, where the Buddha attained enlightenment, needs attention as well.

16. Europe's biggest Buddhist temple to open near Paris UPI reports that this $20 million temple and cultural center will open on June 22nd at Bussey-Saint-Georges, and will have space for 1000 worshippers. The temple also includes 40 bedrooms for people on spiritual retreats, extra rooms for activities such as calligraphy, and a vegetarian restaurant. Oh, and a 16 foot, 8 ton statue of the Buddha, carved from white jade which originated from a mountain in Myanmar!

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As always, please share your thoughts about whatever interested you most in the comments. Also please let me know if I missed something important this month by providing the title of the article. I will google it and include it here, with credit to you! :) Finally, if you are reading this at a later date, please inform me of any dead links, since some newspapers only post articles for a short time before archiving them. Thank you so much!

May all beings be happy!