Starting anew, starting small

It is amazing how feelings arise, grow, and eventually dissolve. Last year around this time, I was finishing up my graduate degree, and I was so done. So done with writing, with professors, with endless forms, corrections, done with everything. 

And to be honest, I continued to feel that way for over six months. But the more I look back, the more I realize that I probably needed it. It was a time to step away and say, alright, that's enough - I need to drop out for a while. And, despite my desire to be 'productive', even an A-type personality like me had to accept that reality. 

Now all that is far from my mind, and I am living a more contented life. Taking some time to re-prioritize my daily activities towards those that are meaningful and fulfilling has opened my eyes to how each day truly is a gift.  

I also realize that striving for something better while still being content with who I am now is possible. It is sometimes easier said than done, but it's happening. Everyday I take joy in learning new things, and anticipate activities with excitement rather than dread. Instead of being mocking reminders of things I probably won't accomplish, my aspirations now show my strength and abilities, my motivation to strive for something better.

As I start anew, I am starting small. I used to think that the only way to make progress was to spend huge blocks of time slogging away towards some nebulous 'goal'. But now, after much experience, I know that all the misplaced effort, the burnout, and yes, even pain, is not necessary. It has taken time, but I realize that all I need is to do a little each day, with fresh eyes and an open heart. And you know what? Instead of dreading the moment I must begin, now I am satisfactorily 'done' before I want to be!

As before, I am excited about where I'm going, but now also enjoy how far I have come, and most importantly, where I am now.

*****

Have you come to a point in your life where you've tired of the treadmill, gotten off, and discovered a new way of living? I would love to hear about it! Please share in the comments.

May all beings be happy!